![IVF Part Tres Update: Hearts Fully Braced [Philosophical Monday]](https://fierceandnerdy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/twopeasinapod.jpg)
IVF Part Tres Update: Hearts Fully Braced [Philosophical Monday]
So we had to make a few complicated decisions when deciding our new IVF protocol. First of all, let me update you on the situation as it stands:
I thought we had 8 embryos in storage, but that was because I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have been during the process. Basically what happened was that we had 14 eggs make it out of me for the retrieval. 12 fertilized, 8 qualified as “good.” One (Betty) was actually transferred, and of the seven left, 5 made it into the freezer. 3 of these embryos were grade A, and two of them were grade B. I’m still a little confused about what happens to the embryos between fertilization and freezing, but since there’s a thin line (for me) between education and obsession, I’ve chosen not to research it.
The main point is that when we got ready to try for Baby #2 we had 5 frozen embryos. This is where things get a little tricky. There’s been a push by some doctors in the IVF community to reduce the number of multiple births. My doctor, who advised us to only transfer one with our first cycle of IVF, was on the front end of that push. However the clinic and storage facility were not. So though my doctor advised individual transfers, our 5 embryos were frozen in three containers. One contained one grade B embryo. One contains two grade A embryos. One contains one grade A and one grade B embryo. Most doctors and IVF patients at the time we did our first transfer were opting for transfers of two embryos. In fact, we would have opted for it back then if our doctor hadn’t advised us against it, since twins make for a high risk pregnancy.
Now the clinic and storage facility has come around to her way of thinking and have started freezing the embryos individually, but unfortunately they adopted this policy after our embryos were put into the freezer. So though, we’d also come around to our doctor’s way of thinking, we only had one individually frozen embryo.
We transferred the individual grade B embryo, and I got pregnant, but then I miscarried. This means that if we want to try another individual transfer, we’ll have to unfreeze two embryos then risk refreezing one of the embryos. Mind you we’ve already lost two embryos in the freezing process.
So that meant we basically had to choose between a high-risk pregnancy and a high-risk freezing procedure. Here are the choices as we understand them:
Choice A: Transfer both embryos. According to 2000 statistics, for a women my age, there’s a 30% chance of pregnancy. And a 70% chance that I won’t get pregnant all together. [But mind you, this isn’t a great statistic, since this is for all women my age with all types of fertility problems. Because IVF is so young (the first IVF baby was born in 1978) and because improvements to the process are being made every year, there just aren’t great recent statistics available, so I have no idea what the real numbers would be for women my age with the particular infertility problems we have.] If I do get pregnant with twins, there is the option to reduce the pregnancy. My husband and I are 100% pro-Choice, but we would not be emotionally able to take this option for ourselves, so if we get pregnant with twins, we’d have to commit to having twins. Twins are considered a high-risk pregnancy. So there’s more chance that our children will be born premature, and that I’ll be put on bedrest for a good part of my pregnancy. If I didn’t get pregnant with this third cycle, then we only have one chance left to get pregnant again with a fourth cycle. Then we would have to choose between starting the entire IVF process over again (very expensive) or adopting (also expensive).
Choice B: Transfer one embryo, and try refreezing the other. There are no real statistics on the chance of the embryo surviving refreezing, because couples rarely choose this option. However, if the refreeze is a success, then we’d have four more chances to do single embryo transfers as opposed to two more chances, and at half the expense of an entirely new IVF cycle.
The good news is that because I got pregnant with the last two cycles, the doctor is advising another natural cycle, which means no needle-based fertility drugs for this next cycle either.
So after some discussion, CH and I decided to go with Choice A, and then if it doesn’t work, we’ll try a second cycle with two embryo transfers. Then if that doesn’t work, we’ll start the adoption process. Those who have been following our IVF journey might recognize this as our original protocol. One try with a single embryo transfer, two tries with two-embryos transfers, and then we adopt.
Meanwhile, the plan is to finish up my big side project and my second novel, so that if I have to take another week off to grieve, it won’t wreck my entire schedule for an entire month like it did the last time. Strangely enough, I’m feeling better about the process this time. Last cycle, I was just so worried, like we were flying by the seat of our pants. Now we have both an emotional and a financial plan in place. We’ve made the big decisions, and it feels like we’re ready to face the coming months, hearts fully braced.
Have any of you ever found yourselves bracing your hearts? If so, why did you choose to do so? And perhaps most importantly, how did you go about it? Let us know in the comments.
featured image credit: plushoff
Yesterday at church, I went down for prayer for healing. After the prayer, my Pastor charged everyone that had come down for prayer to pray for someone else for the next seven days. He told us that it would be clear who we should pray for. Today, I feel that you are the one that I should pray for. I pray that God will give you the spirit of discernment concerning this decision and that whatever decision that is made is one that will be so clear to you that there will be no confusion at all. I pray for your strength and sanity in dealing with the fertility treatments and I pray that God’s will is done no matter the outcome.
Thank you so much for your prayers. Having made the decision last Thursday, it becomes clearer and clearer to us that it is the right one every day. The worst case scenario is that we adopt, and when you think of it that way, there is no bad outcome for the situation. And this gives us a lot of solace.
I have one child but because of my health, (I have sickle cell) we won’t be having anymore children. We have considered adopting but like you mentioned its expensive. I like your blog and hope that this cycle ends with a baby in your arms.
Thank you so much for your comment, Katrina. Yes, it’s one of those things. When people say, “Why don’t you just adopt?” I’m like, “You know adopting is expensive, too.” Almost all options are expensive when infertility comes into play.
So much about your style of going through this process is so different from how I went about it.
I think I had my heart braced through almost all of my 11 treatment cycles.
Yes, much like writing a novel, I find that everyone approaches infertility differently. I know a lot of women who want to be armed with information, and a few like me who prefer not to know too much about the things that are out of their control. I know women who don’t do any practical emotional preparation, and women who go into IVF without an endgame plan. I think we all have to figure out how to deal with this in a way we can emotionally handle.
At the same time I must say that it’s much different facing the possibility of twins when you already have one kid. When you know the gritty details and also when you have a financial plan in place that revolves around having two kids tops, the possibility of three really blows your mind. It means replanning your entire life. But at the end of the day, we’d rather have three than one. So possible replanning it is.
In their remarks, both written and verbal, the organisers expressed their heart-felt appreciation, gave high ratings for the lecture deliveries and exhibitions and said they would be glad to have the art, and lectures again in Sweden anytime later
I remember when my Nana was first diagnosed with cancer. After the first round of chemo she got so sick…I remember trying to brace myself for what I would do if she died (e.g., be strong for my mother, brother and pop pop, make all of the arrangements, etc.). That was in 1995. My grandmother went into remission, came out of remission, went back into remission, etc. She finally succumbed to the cancer seven years later in 2002. I was strong for my mother, brother and pop pop. But I cannot say that I truly braced myself. I was a wreck behind closed doors with my you and Brian. I am not sure you can ever truly brace ourselves…
But you, CH and Betty are in my heart and thoughts. I cannot wait to meet our newest niece/nephew/nieces/nephews/nieces & nephews or whatever!
That’s true about never being able to fully brace yourself, which is why I’ve started preparing myself to go off the rails. I feel that the worse part of miscarrying was the frustration of going off the rails when I wanted to stay on. I think it makes sense to prepare for derailment rather than say, “Next time I won’t derail.”
I remember when my Nana was first diagnosed with cancer. After the first round of chemo she got so sick…I remember trying to brace myself for what I would do if she died (e.g., be strong for my mother, brother and pop pop, make all of the arrangements, etc.). That was in 1995. My grandmother went into remission, came out of remission, went back into remission, etc. She finally succumbed to the cancer seven years later in 2002. I was strong for my mother, brother and pop pop. But I cannot say that I truly braced myself. I was a wreck behind closed doors with my you and Brian. I am not sure you can ever truly brace ourselves…
But you, CH and Betty are in my heart and thoughts. I cannot wait to meet our newest niece/nephew/nieces/nephews/nieces & nephews or whatever!