Philosophical Monday: When Bedtime Accessories Get Ugly
So when I was 17, I cut off all of my hair and rocked a natural until the age of 21 when I got dreads. Then I wore those for 11 years, until one day I decided I just couldn’t bear to retwist my ends even one more time and once again cut all of my hair off.
The best bit of my first natural 15 years is that I didn’t have to fuss with my hair day or night. I went to bed and then when I woke up, all I had to do was run a hand through it before heading out the door. My hair never took more than 5 minutes to deal with.
Painting by Irma Stern
Now I wear my hair in a afro hybrid style called a twist out. I still don’t have to fuss with it in the morning, but if I want it to hold it’s style and luster, I’ve found it necessary to wear a scarf to bed at night. I am not happy about this. My hair looks great in the morning, but the scarf makes me look even dowdier than 8 months of pregnancy does.
The head scarf look is especially unappealing on me, as I feel it makes me look less like a nubian queen and more like an antebellum field slave. However, if I don’t wear it, it takes a lot more work in the morning to make my hair look decent and my twist out doesn’t look as good for as long.
So now I face the dilemma that most other women have had to decide for themselves long before now. Cute for the person who shares your bed at night or cute for the rest of the world during the day? Decisions, decisions… Advice and comments welcome.
girl i wish i had an answer for you AND for myself. i wear a pepto-bismol pink bonnet to bed to protect my hair. every time i put it on i hear the lines "mama in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter's nap" in my head. it is SO not sexy. but i would also rather not be bald because my hair is damaged from the pillowcases. that would just not be cute.
maybe the answer is WE need to find protective head gear that makes us feel sexy, our men think is sexy and will keep us lookin' fly in the morning.
girl i wish i had an answer for you AND for myself. i wear a pepto-bismol pink bonnet to bed to protect my hair. every time i put it on i hear the lines "mama in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter's nap" in my head. it is SO not sexy. but i would also rather not be bald because my hair is damaged from the pillowcases. that would just not be cute.
maybe the answer is WE need to find protective head gear that makes us feel sexy, our men think is sexy and will keep us lookin' fly in the morning.
I can't vouch for the strategy because my hair is essentially the opposite of yours, super-straight and super-long, but some people recommend a satin or silk pillow to cut down on friction.
If you had all of the linens match, it would go from dowdy to sexy.
But don't go spending a fortune on silk sheets right now, since you're about to start leaking breastmilk all over your sheets. The pillowcase is probably safe.
As an aside, I'm reminded of a Cosmo guide to life from the 60s that I found in my house when I was a kid. It recommended waiting until after the man was asleep to wash your makeup off, then setting the alarm an hour before he would wake up to redo your makeup so that you could return to bed and appear perfectly made up just in time for his awakening.
I can't vouch for the strategy because my hair is essentially the opposite of yours, super-straight and super-long, but some people recommend a satin or silk pillow to cut down on friction.
If you had all of the linens match, it would go from dowdy to sexy.
But don't go spending a fortune on silk sheets right now, since you're about to start leaking breastmilk all over your sheets. The pillowcase is probably safe.
As an aside, I'm reminded of a Cosmo guide to life from the 60s that I found in my house when I was a kid. It recommended waiting until after the man was asleep to wash your makeup off, then setting the alarm an hour before he would wake up to redo your makeup so that you could return to bed and appear perfectly made up just in time for his awakening.
now THAT is a lot of work for a man who is waking up funky to a perfectly made up wife!
now THAT is a lot of work for a man who is waking up funky to a perfectly made up wife!
I love you no matter what your hair looks like.
I love you no matter what your hair looks like.
I can totally relate. As you know I also rocked a short natural for nearly eight years before transitioning to dreadlocks about four years ago. Since then I wear a scarf to bed every night to protect my hair from lint and other debris, keep the luster, hold the style (sometimes), etc. My husband and I have been together for a little over 12 years and almost every night (I can count the number of exceptions on both hands) for the last 4 he has dealt with my "do rag." He says that "it ain't sexy for sure," but he still loves me and we managed to make a baby so I think we are alright. Plus, as a relatively young, African American woman in an industry dominated by older, white males I feel very strongly about always looking sharp! So I say, "cute for the rest of the world during the day."
I can totally relate. As you know I also rocked a short natural for nearly eight years before transitioning to dreadlocks about four years ago. Since then I wear a scarf to bed every night to protect my hair from lint and other debris, keep the luster, hold the style (sometimes), etc. My husband and I have been together for a little over 12 years and almost every night (I can count the number of exceptions on both hands) for the last 4 he has dealt with my "do rag." He says that "it ain't sexy for sure," but he still loves me and we managed to make a baby so I think we are alright. Plus, as a relatively young, African American woman in an industry dominated by older, white males I feel very strongly about always looking sharp! So I say, "cute for the rest of the world during the day."
yeah, i don't think "sexy" and "kerchief" go together, but you should be able to find some CUTE sleeping options. i just did a search on etsy, and here are a few i like (some are for bigger hairstyles and dreads, but i don't see why they couldn't work for you)…
http://tiny.cc/GEUIC
http://tiny.cc/gumme
http://tiny.cc/X9Rpe
i like this one in pink and it looks super stretchy:
http://tiny.cc/cap737
yeah, i don't think "sexy" and "kerchief" go together, but you should be able to find some CUTE sleeping options. i just did a search on etsy, and here are a few i like (some are for bigger hairstyles and dreads, but i don't see why they couldn't work for you)…
http://tiny.cc/GEUIC
http://tiny.cc/gumme
http://tiny.cc/X9Rpe
i like this one in pink and it looks super stretchy:
http://tiny.cc/cap737