Reclaim Your Life with LifeScribe! [Single White Nerd]

Do you ever feel awash in a flow of information?  As if your identity is being shaped by the various social networks, newstreams, and push notifications cluttering your inbox and clamoring for attention?  Like you’re just a cog in a massive, convoluted information economy?

You probably are.  And that must hurt.  Because if you’re reading this, you’re probably smart, you may read books and love them, odds are that you’re exceptional.  It’s hard to feel exceptional and distinguished in a sea of white infonoise.

Friend, I want to tell you about LifeScribe, an innovative approach to Life Reclamation in the information age that lets you emerge as the Hero of your OwnLife(tm) and  promotes reading and appreciation of great authors to boot.  

LifeScribe Origins
Back in olden times, not everyone was as exceptional as they are now.  Only a chosen few were considered worthy of having their exploits set down on parchment for the masses to consume.  These few, generally gunslingers, ne’erdowells, or big hero-types like Wyatt Earp went through life with a little dude, a scribe, scrambling behind them recording their activities with a fountain pen.

These scribblings would become books, sometimes with illustrations.

People would buy the books.

The subjects of these “chronicles” became heroes.  People wanted to emulate them, to live vicariously through their adventures.  These heroes were exceptional.  Just like you.  You should be a hero.  Which means that you need a scribe.

The Big Idea
These days, you don’t need a little dude scrambling behind you with a pen to take notes.  You have Facebook, Twitter, Google Calendar, Yelp, and more.  You are your own scribe, creating the meta-narrative of your life even as you live it through comments, pictures, changes in relationship status, new jobs, and reviews.  Problem is that these elements just float out there in isolation, bits of information that third parties use to assemble a profile about you that they can use for advertising.

LifeScribe, at base level, is a data aggregator.  It peers into the data, aggregates it, and–and here’s where it the cool part happens–creates a narrative.  The narrative.  The narrative of your life.  With you as the hero.

“So what?” you ask.  “I can aggregate it myself.”  Yes, you can.  But LifeScribe takes it one step further, creating an actual narrative in your preferred format–magazine, book, poem, or graphic novel.  

But there’s more!

Using the same types of algorithms used to, for example, analyze Shakespearean texts to verify authorship, LifeScribe (for a small fee) can render your story in the style of your favorite author author!

Have you ever wanted to star in a Jane Austen novel?  Be the protagonist in a Stephen King horror story?  Solve crimes as a hardboiled Chandler style dick?  Thanks to LifeScribe, you can!

Your life.  Your story.  Your way.  LifeScribe.

How It Works
It’s Monday.  You wake up when your alarm clock, keyed into your Google Calendar, goes off.  You’ve signed up for a meal planning service that pushes you a recipe for breakfast every morning.  Upon waking, you stub your toe.  You update Facebook with something like “FML, just stubbed my toe.  I hate Mondays.”

Within 5 minutes of waking, you have already generated enough data for LifeScribe to go to work.  Here’s how it might render these riveting, exceptional events in different modes:

Stephen King
His toe throbbed.  He’d been on his way to the kitchen to assemble an egg scramble after waking at precisely 6 AM.  He hadn’t been focusing and had stubbed his toe.  Now it throbbed.  A presence in the daylight dispelled darkness told him it wouldn’t be the last pain he’d feel today.

Jane Austen
It is a truth universally acknowledged that early risers often stub their toe.  This truth had become evident to Mr. Kass shortly before sunrise.

Raymond Chandler
I woke up and the bed attacked my toe.  It broke, cracking like my heart.  I should have never gotten out of bed.  I needed coffee.

By the end of the day, the LifeScribe program will have culled through your narrative, assembled it, and you will have a daily digest waiting in your inbox!  Read it yourself, share it with friends, self-publish on Google Book or Amazon.  It’s your story, do with it what you will!

Act Now
We live in a world where other people and entities work around the clock to push, pull and manipulate your life.  You can go along with it.  You can surrender to their power by disengaging from the Network completely.  Or you can take control with LifeScribe.

It’s your life.  Saddle up with LifeScribe and ride it like the exceptional cowboy/girl superhero super-spy Austenite you are!

Note:  LifeScribe reserves the right to package, anonymize, and sell your data to third party entities.

Note:  LifeScribe doesn’t exist.  Yet.

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featured image credit: paloetic