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Sex Block In Paradise? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I went on Winter Break to Maui with my cousin and she totally turned on me. We were in a bar and these hot guys invited us to their yachts and she made a big scene about how we couldn’t go because of how dangerous it was and so I tried to bring them to our room and she FREAKED on me. Am I really as stupid and slutty as she proclaimed to the entire floor of our hotel?

Frustrated & Hurt

Dear F&H,

Not knowing all the details I choose not to make a blanket statement of yes or no to your query. It is a pity your cousin needed to be so loud with hurtful words. That must feel really awful! However, what I will say is that there IS something to being cautious even when, or rather, especially when, on vacation. Sure it seems like there are no consequences when you are on a far away tropical island but sometimes, there are. It is hard to predict what will happen when you are partying, but that just means you need to talk with your travel companion about what you both can agree on ahead of time. Sure your cousin may have been out of line to explode publicly, as opposed to taking you aside and calmly relating her fears. If she was in an altered state of consciousness, it may not have been that easy for her. Perhaps she was concerned about both your welfares and was unable to express it in a manner you could hear.

Going with unfamiliar men to a yacht has a lot of deliciously fun potential but it could also result in a terrifying disaster. When sharing a room or any kind of space with another creature, all involved should be on board as to what the ground rules are. Obviously, this was not figured out until the heat of the moment. Which, is akin to failing to disclose your Hep C status until after the condom falls off! But, my Dear Lust and Happiness Seekers, that is another letter I need to answer… Even when you think you know someone really well, it is a good idea to go over what your expectations are for your upcoming adventures in Paradise. Do you want to lie on a beach drinking all day and she is looking forward to being sober while filling your days with poolside activities? Maybe she is looking for some quiet one on one girl friend bonding time and you are ready to sleep with as many strangers from the discothèque as possible. Neither is a bad idea for a vacation – no judgments – they are just not the same idea. These are things to find out before planning your next big trip. Hopefully your relationship with your cousin was not permanently destroyed and will be able to heal given a bit of time.

Lust & Happiness,
Dr. Miro

feature image credit: jezt_ist_immer

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