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Sexing the Flu? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I have the flu. I’m still very horny and want to have sex with my girlfriend. In fact, laying around in bed all day just makes me want more sex and there’s only so much jerking off I can do before I’m going crazy for my girl. Here’s my question: Can I give the flu to my special lady friend through sex? Also, a BIG thank you for your past column! It helped me & my girlfriend realize I’m not a complete sex maniac freak.

Sir Flu Man Chu of the Horny Knights

Dear Sir FMCotHK,

Influenza cannot be caught through vaginal secretions or semen. The Virus may be spread, but it will be too unhappy to flourish. Flu Virus really likes the bronchial system! So technically, you will not transmit Flu through intra-vaginal penile containment or sticking your penis into any orifice, really. This Virus spreads via airborne droplets and particles when an infected person sneezes, coughs or speaks. Sometimes it can be passed on through things someone with the virus touched, sneezed or coughed on like a doorknob or penis. When a healthy person touches these polluted items and then touches his/her mouth or nose, the Virus may enter their system. If you were to wash every part of your body AND not breathe any where near your partner, it would be feasible to have sex and not give her the flu. But really, how realistic is that? You see, although the actual “sex” part is not going to make your Lady sick, every other part of the act will.

Helpful hint: If you are going to have juicy sexual activity while sick with flu, make sure there is a lot of air circulation in your room. In this way, the Influenza Particles will dissipate instead of being breathed in by anyone around you. The main theory, right now, is the Flu can linger in the atmosphere of places such as class rooms and airplanes notorious for lacking in fresh air. This implies that curtained still bed room you have probably been breathing in for quite a few days, too. Remember, people carrying the virus can be contagious 1 day before their symptoms appear and approximately 5 to 7 days after first symptoms. Meaning: it’s possible to pass the flu on before you even know you’re sick. And just to add, you will most likely need your partner to do the majority of the work since you are in such a weakened state so get out your breathing masks (there are some super cute ones on the market) and play Contagion! Speedy, sexy recovery…

Lust & Happiness,
Dr. Miro

featured image credit: Domiriel

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