Share This
Stay-at-Home Nerd: Baby Names and Me
.
a blogumn by Joshua Pullin
Some day around the age of four or five my son will ask why we named him what we did. This is what I will tell him.
Your mom and I knew you were a boy before you were born. We could’ve given you a family name. Only with one grandfather and zero brothers or uncles between us, there weren’t a lot of family names to pick from. So, we made a few rules. Popular names, even if we liked them, like Jack, Andrew or Ben, were out. Biblical names were out. Names that reminded us of anyone we didn’t like were out. Trendy celebrity names were out. We thought about naming you Joshua, but I didn’t want to turn my head every time your mom called out Josh. Besides, we wanted you to have your very own name.
Ruling out names was taking forever so we decided what kinds of names were acceptable. Your mom craved one with literary significance. I sought a name that was unmistakably a boy, but fit for a man – the name of someone who could eat dirt and one day run for congress. It wasn’t long before we settled on the letter ‘G’. Maybe it was because you have a grandma Gayle and a grandpa Gordon. I really don’t know. Graham was the early front-runner and met both our criteria. Graham Greene was an author, playwright, and critic, and Graham by itself sounded like a little boy who might just grow up and do something. But, it didn’t stick. We chose Grady. John Grady Cole is the heroic character in Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses as well as the professor in Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon. That satisfied any literary requirement. Plus, it sounded like a cowboy name. Honestly though, I think we just liked the grrrrrrr.
But that’s just half the story. The real story is how you got your last name, Pullin. Your mom is Kelly Pullin and when I married her my name was Joshua Sitarz. Historically, the mom takes her husband’s last name. Sometimes it’s hyphenated. For instance your mom could’ve been Kelly Sitarz or Kelly Pullin-Sitarz. She tried on Sitarz for a while, but it didn’t stick and she never made it legal. If she had, you would be Grady Sitarz or Grady Pullin. We scratched the hyphen idea because it felt like not making a choice. And, where would it end? If we’re hyphenated and you get married and your spouse is hyphenated, you’d have more hyphens than letters in your last name.
Unable to decide, I kept my last name and your mom kept hers. Although, as soon as your mom got pregnant with you, we decided that all of us should share the same last name. Now, we had to choose between Sitarz and Pullin. I wasn’t close to my father and that’s where the Sitarz name came from. On the other hand, your mom is very close to her family and when you were born there were five other Pullins. That may not sound like much, but by keeping Pullin, you were instantly a part of a big, happy family that shared your same last name.
That’s how you were named Grady Pullin, and that’s how I became Josh Pullin. Now, go to sleep!
I found this article fascinating, Josh. And I love that you guys decided to eschew traditional dictates in favor of what was best for your family. I also think that Grady Pullin is a great name. It's funny, b/c I definitely wouldn't have campaigned for Betty if our daughter was going to have my last name. There's already a jazz singer by that name and it would be weird if she had the exact same name as her grandmother. This article reminded me how important it is that the first and last name fit with each other when it comes to naming a baby.
Matching last names and first names is so often overlooked, even by own parents. My original name Joshua Sitarz sounds fine. But, trying saying Josh Sitarz out loud and fast, like my 8th grade math teacher did, and it's not so great.
Another funny thing to think about is the names your parents were considering. My other potential names were Zeke or Zach. I'm sure I would have loved being Zeke as a kid!!
I found this article fascinating, Josh. And I love that you guys decided to eschew traditional dictates in favor of what was best for your family. I also think that Grady Pullin is a great name. It's funny, b/c I definitely wouldn't have campaigned for Betty if our daughter was going to have my last name. There's already a jazz singer by that name and it would be weird if she had the exact same name as her grandmother. This article reminded me how important it is that the first and last name fit with each other when it comes to naming a baby.
Matching last names and first names is so often overlooked, even by own parents. My original name Joshua Sitarz sounds fine. But, trying saying Josh Sitarz out loud and fast, like my 8th grade math teacher did, and it's not so great.
Another funny thing to think about is the names your parents were considering. My other potential names were Zeke or Zach. I'm sure I would have loved being Zeke as a kid!!
Love it! We've had this talk too about what we'll do when we someday have kids. Erik's last name is Lee, which is just really an awful last name to coordinate with because whatever you pick, there are already at least a billion Lees with that name somewhere out there. But he *is* close to his family, and already gets teased for letting me call so many of the shots, so I don't know how it'd go down if he changed himself to a Hsia.
We stuck a family name in the middle of my boy's name. His mom's mom's maiden name is McGinnis so his full name is Grady McGinnis Pullin. That's Irish alright.
And, I kept Sitarz as my middle name. It used to be Edward. Shhh. Don't tell. So, now I'm Joshua Sitarz Pullin as far as the US government is concerned.
I was more attached to the Z in my name than the family lineage, and my friends called me Sitarz growing up so I couldn't put it to rest completely.
I think it's a little known fact that when you change your name because of marriage you can also change your middle name. And, there's no expiration on changing your name because of marriage. I did it a full 2 years after I was married.
Love it! We've had this talk too about what we'll do when we someday have kids. Erik's last name is Lee, which is just really an awful last name to coordinate with because whatever you pick, there are already at least a billion Lees with that name somewhere out there. But he *is* close to his family, and already gets teased for letting me call so many of the shots, so I don't know how it'd go down if he changed himself to a Hsia.
We stuck a family name in the middle of my boy's name. His mom's mom's maiden name is McGinnis so his full name is Grady McGinnis Pullin. That's Irish alright.
And, I kept Sitarz as my middle name. It used to be Edward. Shhh. Don't tell. So, now I'm Joshua Sitarz Pullin as far as the US government is concerned.
I was more attached to the Z in my name than the family lineage, and my friends called me Sitarz growing up so I couldn't put it to rest completely.
I think it's a little known fact that when you change your name because of marriage you can also change your middle name. And, there's no expiration on changing your name because of marriage. I did it a full 2 years after I was married.
Well, you know how Jordan got his name, you picked it out! Great choice by the way. He still has that option of J.J. or J.T. if he ever wants a nick-name. Mom said, you've always been good at picking out names, even our dogs names, all having to start with "S." I'm happy for Grady that you all have the same last name, and that it's Pullin. Even with my divorce, I kept his last name, to keep Jordan's last name. That's IS what's important ;-)
typo: meant to say: "That IS what's important ;-)"
I do seem to have a knack for naming things!
Well, you know how Jordan got his name, you picked it out! Great choice by the way. He still has that option of J.J. or J.T. if he ever wants a nick-name. Mom said, you've always been good at picking out names, even our dogs names, all having to start with "S." I'm happy for Grady that you all have the same last name, and that it's Pullin. Even with my divorce, I kept his last name, to keep Jordan's last name. That's IS what's important ;-)
typo: meant to say: "That IS what's important ;-)"
I do seem to have a knack for naming things!
I think Grady is the best name cuz GRANDMA and GRANDPA start with GRRR. Love,Grandma Gayle.
Thanks Mom!!
awwwww, your mom posted on your blog!!!! That is so cute!!! I don't think my mom understands what blogs are….
I think Grady is the best name cuz GRANDMA and GRANDPA start with GRRR. Love,Grandma Gayle.
Thanks Mom!!
awwwww, your mom posted on your blog!!!! That is so cute!!! I don't think my mom understands what blogs are….
U sound like a Dad IN LOVE. Very cute, Josh.
U sound like a Dad IN LOVE. Very cute, Josh.
Very Cute indeed, and of course its a cowboy name because of John Grady Cole, so literary significance…check.
Little known family fact: Grady's middle name is Aunt Erin's middle name: McGinnis.
other little known fact: your parents call you Puppy right now, Grady, so look out for that.
Grady joined a happy Pullin family, you're right, but the Pullins are historically known for accepting other last names at our dinner table. My dad is thrilled to carry on the family name, as I know his hopes gave out with his third and last daughter, and by beginning this next generation off with such a significant and meaningful name, you gave Grady a lot of family to fall back on. Although even if his name was Poopy-pants McGee, i'm pretty sure he'd still have 3 doting grandmas, 1 proud grandpa, 3 loving aunts, excited and protective cousin Jordan, and a mom and dad who care enough to forgo sleep for the next 18 years.
Funny how a name fits into the web created by family. xolinz
Very Cute indeed, and of course its a cowboy name because of John Grady Cole, so literary significance…check.
Little known family fact: Grady's middle name is Aunt Erin's middle name: McGinnis.
other little known fact: your parents call you Puppy right now, Grady, so look out for that.
Grady joined a happy Pullin family, you're right, but the Pullins are historically known for accepting other last names at our dinner table. My dad is thrilled to carry on the family name, as I know his hopes gave out with his third and last daughter, and by beginning this next generation off with such a significant and meaningful name, you gave Grady a lot of family to fall back on. Although even if his name was Poopy-pants McGee, i'm pretty sure he'd still have 3 doting grandmas, 1 proud grandpa, 3 loving aunts, excited and protective cousin Jordan, and a mom and dad who care enough to forgo sleep for the next 18 years.
Funny how a name fits into the web created by family. xolinz
This is totally rad Josh & Kelly!!!!
This is totally rad Josh & Kelly!!!!
Thanks, everyone. Glad you enjoy it.
Thanks, everyone. Glad you enjoy it.
This was very touching. I can't tell you how many people I've told, i'm sorry, how many dudes I've told that I have a friend who took his wife's last name and have said "WHY would he do that?" and when I tell girls, they're always like "Awwww, that is so sweet!"
I, too, don't want to hyphenate, but I don't think Jason will take my last name and his last name was actually made up by the government so…. there you have it. I asked him if we could just all change our name to Calrissian and he said yes, but I don't think he thinks I'm actually going to hold him to that… (what? It's the dog's last name already…)
This was very touching. I can't tell you how many people I've told, i'm sorry, how many dudes I've told that I have a friend who took his wife's last name and have said "WHY would he do that?" and when I tell girls, they're always like "Awwww, that is so sweet!"
I, too, don't want to hyphenate, but I don't think Jason will take my last name and his last name was actually made up by the government so…. there you have it. I asked him if we could just all change our name to Calrissian and he said yes, but I don't think he thinks I'm actually going to hold him to that… (what? It's the dog's last name already…)
Josh, you write a lot.
Josh, you write a lot.