Frankie says… Moving on is moving up. I’ve recently gone through some career changes that will ultimately affect my life, and vice versa, of course. When is one not intrinsically attached to the other? For years now, I’ve been supporting myself as a nanny. I was able to begin my writing career because of the flexibility and pay of babysitting. I was able to then foray into producing, again because of the flexibility and pay of babysitting. Now, in the last month, I’ve just quit my last babysitting gig. I have been making enough money as a writer and producer to cut the umbilical cord – pun noted. And just as leaving the comfort of a relationship, stagnant as it may be, can be disconcerting, so is leaving the comfort of a job, even when you don’t love it anymore. I am happy to report that in the last four weeks, I have never been busier – averaging six assignments a week and signing on to another short film as producer. But, but… I seem to be waiting for that proverbial other shoe to drop. What happens when I don’t have six, or even one assignment per week? What do I do then? Call up the families and tell them they must desperately need a date night? I hate that feeling, uncertainty. That’s why I’ve always kept babysitting in my back pocket, because I was never certain that I wouldn’t need it, at some point. But writing and producing just got to be too much (in a good way) and I knew I couldn’t commit to these kids when I was texting/calling/emailing directors, DPs, producers, etc., as their swings swung slower and slower, eventually stopping while my mouth was popping away to Mr. So-and-so....

Dear Dr. Miro, I started seeing a guy from work in Friends With Benefits way but we only hook up when he’s REALLY drunk. I was really happy with the situation – no strings attached, etc and thought he was too but then he’s sober he goes on about how “It was such a mistake” and we shouldn’t do that again. AND, when my ex showed up at a bar we were all at together my FWB’s gave us the evil stink eye all. night. long. What gives? Sincerely, Toni Dear T, First of all, Work Guy is obviously not happy with your Friends With Benefits situation. He has deeper feelings for you compounded with layers he is not admitting even to himself. If you truly want a FWBs experience, consider someone who can actually use his or her words to articulate what they are thinking and feeling in a manner that will facilitate a fun night and not leave any residual guilt (on his end) or doubts (that I hear from you). I am not coming down on your happiness with your current set-up but, how good could the sex be if he is always “really drunk” by the time you get it on? Having a sloppy night of passion can be great for some people but I imagine being told it was a mistake can dampen the feelings. Still confused by the evil stink eye your FWBs gave you? Understand, Work Guy is not actually a Friend WITH Benefits. He is someone you work with (this in itself is going to go badly and be rather awkward) that has feelings for you, who cannot commit to an actual relationship. I am not making any value judgements in regards to committing or not...