Holiday Update: I Ruined Thanksgiving and My Dog Smells Like Cheese – California Seething [Best of FaN]...

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Just in case you think your Thanksgiving is going poorly, here’s a re-run of Eric Sim’s Thanksgiving 2011. Our Thanksgiving dinner this year was supposed to be low maintenance and effortless which, as a card-carrying member of the flannel and apathy generation, I seriously appreciated, man. We decided not to cook anything from scratch but to buy and reheat prepared foods from Whole Foods instead. Mind you, we didn’t do this because I’m too lazy and incompetent to cook Thanksgiving dinner, no sir! We did it because I’m too lazy and incompetent to renovate our kitchen (which is much, much worse) and cooking Thanksgiving dinner in that tiny, dysfunctional kitchen would be like trying to have sex with a horse in an airplane bathroom – or, more to the point, it would be like cooking a full Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings in an absurdly small kitchen with an undersized oven and no counter space– which is the hardest fucking thing you could do so it doesn’t need any clever little metaphors to make it seem harder than it is. It’s so hard that, in fact, it makes a really good metaphor for other things that are really hard like- “Damn! Passing that softball sized kidney stone was like cooking Thanksgiving dinner in Eric’s absurdly small kitchen with its undersized oven and no counter space” or “Whew! Fucking that horse in that airplane bathroom sure was tough! As tough as cooking Thanksgiving dinner in Eric’s absurdly small kitchen with its undersized oven and no counter space. Isn’t that right Seabiscuit? Yeah, you like that, boy? That wasn’t no carrot I was feeding you in there, but you sure went to town on it when I dug the spurs in Yee-Haw!” Right,...

Grown Ups at Disney World [Michael Gutenplan]

Two adults take a vacation to Disney World over a holiday weekend. While this would be a great start to a surely hilarious joke, it is the true story of my friend Julia and my true-life adventure for a fantastic, fun filled few days in Central Florida’s best-known theme park with an adorable rodent problem. It all started a few months ago when my college friend Julia emailed me about our annual trip. In the past we have met up in Pittsburgh (where we went to school) or in New York City (where she works and my family lives). This year, Julia offered a whole slew of options and at the bottom of her list was the most magical place of all – Walt Disney World. For some people, a trip to Disney would include cyanide pills, as they would without a doubt want to kill themselves rather than be stuck in the humid air, waiting on line for hours to watch animatronic children sing about what a small world it is, but for me, it was an adventure into happiness, a chance to relive my youth and be a child for a few days. So without hesitation, I agreed to Disney and started preparing to drink the proverbial Kool-Aid of the happiest place on earth! One of our main goals of this trip was to make sure that we kept it an adult vacation and Disney World seemed to have a whole world of activities and restaurants geared just for adults. In addition to the parks themselves, this resort destination has fantastic dining, great themed hotels and a whole variety of leisure activities and sports. From the research that I did, I learned that Labor Day week was actually a great time to...

Whinging ’til October [Fierce Foodie]

I know I have whinged and complained in the least attractive way about my hatred of the heat in almost every summer post I have ever written, but really, it’s horrible in Pennsylvania.  It’s just a pit.  Our weather lately has bounced between three day downpours and unrelenting killer heat, both accompanied by the kind of sticky, sweltering humidity that leaves you instantly moist the moment you step out of the air conditioning.  Ugh!  And cooking in the heat sounds about as appealing to me as running laps around the house dressed in a balaclava, wool long johns and a sanitary belt.  So it’s no surprise that my favorite refrain around 7 pm is “Let’s have ice cream for dinner… Again!”  And even less surprising that I am running out of pants that fit. Instead of encouraging more bad habits, here I offer a recipe that I like because it is delicious and malleable; you can switch out the ground turkey for ground chicken or tofu crumbles, use soy instead of hoisin sauce, or turn up the heat by adding a side of garlic chile oil mixed with rice vinegar, and you will still come out with something yummy.  Don’t get caught up on the exact ingredients; cucumber will work as well as carrot.  You can convert it into a mexican spiced dish with fajita seasoning and add avocado.  Be free!  It’s the cool, crisp lettuce surrounding the spicy filling that is the heart of this dish.  The filling cooks quickly and keeps in the fridge for up to 2 days, so you can cook it during a cool respite and have something good and good for you to nibble on when the heat returns.  Because return it must, just as surely as the earth turns, and a feminine and awesome sweatring graces the collar of every shirt I wear from May through October. Five-Spice Turkey & Lettuce Wraps Courtesy...

Easy Caprese [Fierce Foodie]

Summer is coming early in my neck of the woods in the form of 80-degree days and a swarm of carpenter bees outside my door.  When the temperatures rise, all my million or so sweat glands and I want to do is laze in front of the fan and dream of colder climes and less soggy days.  However, there is the matter of eating.  Ovens are out entirely and the stove is my enemy.  Heavy foods are an invitation to nap, and so this year I plan to make appetizer dinners and dinner salads my mainstays.  I’m sure these easy and delicious bites of mozzarella and grape tomatoes will be a recurring favorite as I mop my brow and dream of blustery winds. Mini Caprese Bites Courtesy of Southern Living May 2008 Makes 8 appetizer servings Prep Time: 20 Minutes Ingredients: 1 pt. grape tomatoes, halved 10 to 14 fresh small mozzarella cheese balls, cut into thirds* 32 (4-inch) wooden skewers or toothpicks 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper 6 thinly sliced fresh basil leaves Kosher salt and pepper to taste Preparation: 1. Thread 1 tomato half, 1 piece of cheese, and another tomato half onto each skewer. Place skewers in a shallow serving dish. 2. Whisk together oil and next 3 ingredients. Drizzle oil mixture over skewers; sprinkle with basil and salt and pepper to taste. *1 (8-oz.) package fresh mozzarella, cut into 1/2-inch cubes, may be substituted. If you liked this post, please do us the further boon of Liking the Fierce and Nerdy page on FaceBook. Also, we’re giving great stream on Twitter, so do give us follow. featured image credit:...