Dear Dr. Miro, My husband and I are in Couples Therapy, which is a good thing. We have a lot of things to work through that I feel are totally attainable. The problem is when our 5 & 8-year-old kids ask, “Mommy where are you & Daddy going?” and I say an appointment. And they ask what kind. And I say a doctors. Then they get worried that we are sick and I don’t really know what to say. I know they have had the terrible misfortune of hearing some of our arguments and must have picked up the tension in the house but what should I tell them? Also, I may need to go to rehab for 21 days and I REALLY don’t know what to tell them about that. Sincerely, Finally Trying to Do Right Dear FTtDR, Wow. I suppose I should congratulate you on taking care of your personal relationship in an adult fashion. But, to throw in that piece about needing to go to Rehab as an aside, needs addressing in, and of it’s self. The fact that you “may need to go” is a telling part of the stress, tension and erratic behavior your children and husband have no doubt experienced. The thing about kids is that they absorb EVERYTHING going on around them. This includes your behavior, emotions and, to get a bit hippy-dippy, your psychic energy. Your lovely children are more than likely aware that something is wrong with you. And, if they are not, they are at least on to the fact that you are not happy. Whether or not they internalize this notion and feel it is their fault is another thing. Everyone wants the best possible version of yourself that you may attain. Bring...

Dear HorroR Stories, I hate my HR Department, they are so strict and I don’t understand why. I never got a dental insurance card and when I went to them to ask about it, they said I never signed up for dental insurance. And then they said I couldn’t just add it on, but I had to wait until the end of the year. Why? I think they are just being bitches. –Crooked teeth Dear Crooked, My first reaction to reading your question was: “Huh, that HR Department doesn’t communicate very well with its employees.” I mean, if you are going to prevent someone from enrolling in the dental plan, you should at least explain why. But then I thought about it for a minute, I looked back on the past 15 years of my professional life and changed my mind. Nope, I’ve got your HR Department’s back on this one. So, just for fun, open up Outlook the next time you are at work and click on “All Mail Items” and then in the search box type: “Open Enrollment.” Depending on how long you’ve been at the company, and how much storage space they allow you to keep in Outlook, you should see at least one email per year pop up. Nothing shuts off employees’ ears like the words “Open Enrollment.” It never ceases to amaze me, I mean we are talking about benefits, which by definition, are good things. Why don’t you care? For those of you who automatically delete any email you get from HR, I guess I should explain what Open Enrollment is before I go any further. Your company has a benefit year, usually it’s the same as the calendar year, but sometimes it isn’t. Toward the end of...

I would like to use this week’s post to give you some advice. If you haven’t already committed and shacked up, don’t marry a guy with kids. Don’t get me wrong; the kids aren’t the problem. Once you get over the initial horror of taking a rectal temperature or helping a little boy wipe himself, the trials of co-parenting become manageable, and after time the benefits outweigh the work. But if you’re going to wait until your mid-thirties to tie the knot, and you end up with a divorcé, I do suggest that you try to pre-screen the ex-wife. Ha! Like that’s even possible. It’s frustrating. I’ve been a part of this family for almost three years and I’ve hardly ever spoken to the ex directly. We exchange information through the kids. On the speakerphone, she asks them something, they ask me, I respond and they tell their mom. She never acknowledges I’m there. I think she tries to pretend I don’t play a role in their lives, that I’m no more than one of their forgettable afternoon babysitters, but I’d like to think I play a bigger role and I wish there could be more cooperation between us. Why are we buying two sets of sneakers for kids who are going to outgrow them in four months? When we signed them up for activities last fall, we had to go in on the assumption that they’d only be able to go every other week, and even now I’m the one who brings my step-daughter to her dance class every Friday, even when she’s sleeping at her Mom’s house. I’ve never asked the ex to communicate with me, I’ve given the woman space, hoping that through a kind tone and cooperative attitude, she would...