Dear Madame HR, I am friends on Facebook with a bunch of my co-workers. Lately, after the Newtown tragedy and the subsequent discussions regarding gun control, one of my co-workers has been posting a lot of pro-gun statements, photos of himself with his guns, and other pro-gun things that make me a little nervous. I talked to my other co-workers and we kind of made some jokes about it, but the more I think about it, the more freaked out I am. Should I be concerned? Should I tell HR? Rather Not Get Shot Dear Rather Not, Should you be concerned? OK, so looking in my crystal ball: I’m going to say “Maybe.” Yes, Maybe! My favorite answer to every question—it’s the only way in which I ever resemble a lawyer. Let’s get real for a minute. I mean, really, if I had a dollar for every time I went “Huh?” at something someone posted on Facebook then I wouldn’t be working in HR right now. I’d probably be at Sizzler getting a $6 steak because I don’t have many Facebook friends, but that’s not the point. The point is I’m not sure you should go over the deep end here. Sure, you could report the guy, start tracking his Amazon.com orders, x-raying the mysterious packages arriving for him. Or, you could confront him; tell him to stop posting those things (which would probably go over really well). You could block his posts so you don’t have to see them anymore. But then that only really solves the problem of your ignorance being compromised, it’s not going to make the dude stop loving guns so much. And I hate to break it to you, but I heard a statistic that before the Newtown tragedy...

In honor of Book Week at F&N, I will be suspending my usual Q&A. Keep sending questions, you can post them in the comments or email them to: askhorror@gmail.com. And as always, confidentiality will be preserved. Now that’s out the way, so…Book Week, eh? I have to admit when they first told me about this I was like: crap, does this mean I have to read a book about HR and then write about it? I mean, come on, let’s be honest, who wants to read a book about HR? Yuck, not me. And even worse, who wants to read a post about a book about HR? I’m assuming not you. And I don’t want to write one, let me tell you. So I was dreading the deadline on this one. But then I started wondering, why isn’t the HR Manager ever a character in fiction? I mean, heroines (or heroes) in fiction always have some interesting job that real people never have: archaeologists, college professors (or both), underwater treasure hunters, photojournalists (although, everyone thinks they are a photojournalist nowadays), professional thieves (with a heart of gold, of course), regular journalists, computer hackers, novelists (I love it when the main character in a novel is a novelist—and by love, I mean hate), sheriffs or some other law enforcement, injured Navy Seals who just need the love of a good woman to heal their physical and emotional scars, guys who buy companies and then destroy them to make tons of money (think Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, or Mitt Romney in the Real World), chefs, bounty hunters, you get the idea. I mean, if novels can make Art History seem interesting and exciting, why can’t they do the same for HR? So, I tried to...

Dear Madame HorroR, I recently returned from a business trip to New York with the CEO of my company and a couple of other executives. One evening I entered the hotel bar where we were staying and saw the CEO at a table with a woman I know is a prostitute. I know this because she had propositioned me on a previous occasion and I turned her down. They left together. We are a public company and aside from this being illegal and immoral, he’s also married. What should I do? –Shocked and Dismayed Dear Dismayed, So, your CEO likes prostitutes? Neat. He’s married? Super. You’ve got shareholders and board members and whoever that Mr. SOX fellow is (I hate that guy) standing in a row just shaking their heads in disapproval. Hmm, I doubt it. But you’re right, this is shocking and dismaying. I mean, I used to go on business trips and feel guilty if I ordered Dominos to my hotel room late at night because all the food they served at the meeting I was at all day was kosher and GROSS.  I would make sure to get extra meat AND cheese on that baby, but I wouldn’t put it on my expense report. I wonder if your CEO expensed the drinks he bought little Miss Madam, or the condom he bought in the bathroom (maybe there was one in his mini-bar so he just charged it to the room—there are probably some hotels in New York that have Viagra in their mini-bars, I’m just saying). I’m going to give you a little glimpse into the mind of an HR professional. If you were in my office right now telling me this I would be plugging my ears and chanting “la,...

Dear HorroR Stories, I hate my HR Department, they are so strict and I don’t understand why. I never got a dental insurance card and when I went to them to ask about it, they said I never signed up for dental insurance. And then they said I couldn’t just add it on, but I had to wait until the end of the year. Why? I think they are just being bitches. –Crooked teeth Dear Crooked, My first reaction to reading your question was: “Huh, that HR Department doesn’t communicate very well with its employees.” I mean, if you are going to prevent someone from enrolling in the dental plan, you should at least explain why. But then I thought about it for a minute, I looked back on the past 15 years of my professional life and changed my mind. Nope, I’ve got your HR Department’s back on this one. So, just for fun, open up Outlook the next time you are at work and click on “All Mail Items” and then in the search box type: “Open Enrollment.” Depending on how long you’ve been at the company, and how much storage space they allow you to keep in Outlook, you should see at least one email per year pop up. Nothing shuts off employees’ ears like the words “Open Enrollment.” It never ceases to amaze me, I mean we are talking about benefits, which by definition, are good things. Why don’t you care? For those of you who automatically delete any email you get from HR, I guess I should explain what Open Enrollment is before I go any further. Your company has a benefit year, usually it’s the same as the calendar year, but sometimes it isn’t. Toward the end of...

Dear Madame HorroR, Recently, my boss called me in to her office and gave me a counseling notice and said I had 10 days to improve my performance. Should I be worried? Am I going to get fired? — Called into the Principal’s office Dear Called, Yes… Probably… I don’t know. I’m doubtless not saying anything shocking when I relate that most people hate conflict, hate giving people bad news, hate confronting anything unpleasant in general. Just because the corporate gods have shined down upon your manager and christened her a “Manager” doesn’t automatically make her better at any of that. Or make her willing to deal with it either. That is what HR Departments are for, right? Here’s what I do know, your boss HATED having to give you that counseling notice. Now, I don’t know what it was for, but I’m guessing this is how the conversation between your boss and your HR department went: Your Boss: I want to let my employee, Called into the Principal’s Office go Your HR Dept: Have you discussed this performance issue with her? Your Boss: No, I just want you to let her go, she doesn’t listen to me and her work is sloppy Your HR Dept: Have you given her any feedback on her work, told her what your expectations are, how she can improve? Your Boss: No, just get rid of her Your HR Dept: (clicking keys in the background) I see that you gave her a 4.5 out of 5 on her last performance review Your Boss: I don’t care, I just want her gone, just deal with it Your HR Dept: Yes, but first we need to document something… At which point your HR Department gave your manager a nice long...