Long before David Letterman became the king of late night, he was just another struggling Hollywood comedian. During the 1970’s, Dave was a fixture as a celebrity panelist on many game shows until he finally got a chance to host one of his own. Fortunately, that video has made it online and is hilarious! David Letterman grew up in Indianapolis and eventually worked as a weatherman in local television. He would eventually head to Hollywood, where he worked the comedy circuit and appeared as a game show celebrity panelist. Dave hosted a short lived morning show for NBC that led to his late night gig, Late Night with David Letterman. After a dispute over hosting duties of The Tonight Show, he moved on to CBS in 1993 and has been hosting his Late Show with David Letterman, since. One of Dave’s rarer TV projects was hosting the game show pilot, The Riddlers in 1977. Now a copy has been made available online. The Riddlers placed two teams, one made of five celebrities and one made of contestants with a common theme (five dance instructors were seen in this pilot). One player would read a clue and their partner would have to finish the answer to the hilarious riddle. Solving nine riddles wins $500 and a chance to play the Crazy Quotes bonus game. Missing a riddle, passed play to the other team. In the Crazy Quotes bonus game, players hilariously arranged themselves by intellectual ability to solve a series of more difficult riddles for a jackpot of $2,000. This pilot also features 1970’s celebrity guests Jo Anne Worley, Robert Urich, Joyce Builifant, Michael McKeon, and Debralee Scott. Take a look at the show that could have been, The Riddlers. Too bad – the game was just awful. The...

Every television show goes through a testing phase before making it to air. The first episodes, called pilots, are designed for producers and network execs to judge if a show is good enough for broadcast or if there are any changes that need to be made. Some shows go through multiple pilots and still never see the light of day. NBC took a big chance in the 70’s and made a big score picking up the now classic game show Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune scores with a premise as simple as hangman. Spin the wheel, pick a letter, and solve the puzzle. I did a full blogumn on the show’s origins a few years ago. Wheel, like many other shows, went through multiple pilots and hosts before making it to air. For the first time ever, portions of these test episodes have been leaked to the general public. The original premise for Wheel was to be a Shoppers Bazaar. In the first test pilot, shot in 1973 with a very different set was actually named Shoppers Bazaar. This unusual and clumsy pilot featured a very different version of the now classic wheel. Take a look a portion of this test episode that, until now, only NBC executives have seen. Look at the wheel! It’s right out of Las Vegas casino floor or a church bazaar. The show took way too much time in set up and all the prizes on the set got in the way. Plus, the contestants were not in control of the wheel, they were simply told to say, “STOP THE WHEEL!”  That premise would have gotten old fast. The puzzle board itself was also a very early working prototype. While it was mechanized, it was very small, and rather unattractive. Chuck Woolery, who did eventually get the job as...

September is a very exciting month for television. In the coming weeks, the major networks will launch dozens of new comedies, dramas and reality shows to be viewed and dissected by dozens of self-appointed media critics around the country. Since I’m not gonna watch any of that horseshit, though, I’ve decided to write about Quincy. Look, I’ve suffered enough in the name of New Television Programming. I spent two goddamn weeks in an S&M relationship with Bob Costas where he teased me with promises of Platform Diving and Who concerts and then slapped me across the face with a half hour preview of Animal Practice and the late fucking news. Seriously, NBC – when did you become such a top? There used to be so many different colors in the peacock’s tail and now there are only Shades of Grey (say it with me one last time, America- JUST SHOW THE FUCKING SPORTS! Man that feels good. God, I miss the Olympics. I wonder if Bob Costas is thinking about me. I know I’m thinking about him. His smile, his eyes, the way he spoke in wry tones about Rhythmic Gymnastics. I’d love to slather his head in Grecian Formula while he slaps my butt with a badminton racket until it’s as red and swollen as China’s sporting ambitions and we watch Water Polo together. Rio can’t come soon enough, except for the fact that the Brazilians totally aren’t ready. Well, hopefully Mitt Romney will be looking for a job soon and he can help them out.) So, clearly all this exposure to New Television has taken its toll on my fragile psyche (I’m a delicate motherfucking flower) and there were only 2 possible solutions available: 1. Stop watching television completely 2. Watch Quincy...

Individuality. A healthy upbringing with a loving family. A well rounded education. Countless free hours of playing with friends. These are just some of the things that will win you jack shit as an Olympic gymnast. Olympic gymnasts should be raised in a box like veal – separated from their families and confined so tightly they can’t turn around and look at the childhood they left behind. At least veal calves get fed. Plus, veal calves are butchered privately – out of sight of the diners who consume them as delicious PETAschnitzel.  Nobody makes a veal calf put on a purple spangly leotard so that it can be slaughtered in public by a cold-eyed Bulgarian judge in front of millions of people for the unforgiveable sin of taking a half step out of bounds and then served to the public as a national disgrace. Just think, most of us will never have the opportunity to disgrace our nation and gymnasts get to do it before they’ve had their first period! Livin’ the Olympic dream! But if the gymnast is good enough and lucky enough to win the gold then she gets to bask in the adulation of her nation by starring in a Subway commercial with Apolo Anton Ohno and Jared unless her accomplishments are overshadowed by her hair. She might even get to compete on Dancing with the Stars and be mocked by the tabloids for getting fat. Seriously, leave ShawnJohn alone – she starved her whole life to bring four fucking medals to this worthless, ingrate lard-ass nation of ours. Let her eat a fuckin’ doughnut. Some people go into the desert to see god. Others go to find themselves, to make art, to commune with nature, to have visions, or to...