NOTE: This post is intended for medicinal purposes only. Even though I know a thing or two about dramatic structure, I don’t consider myself a playwright- just like I don’t consider myself a licensed plumber even though I’ve unclogged hundreds of toilets over the course of my illustrious career as Theatre Manager and Renter of Terrible Apartments (for more on the subject of theatre management, I recommend Stanislavski’s master-work on the subject: An Actor Prepares. Which Is Fine, Whatever, But Then He Goes and Takes Like this Enormous Dump in the Moscow Art Theatre’s Only Working Toilet and I’ve Got to Unclog the Fucking Thing, I Mean Jesus Christ- What Is Wrong with You People? How Is it Possible that You Can Memorize Hamlet But You Can’t Remember that Paper Towels Go in the Motherfucking Garbage Can? Don’t You Think I’ve Got Better Things to Do than Wallowing Around in Thespian Turds All Day? I’m Stanislavski, Bitches! You’re Motivation Better Be to Stop Pissing Me Off or the Only Theatre You’re Gonna Work in Is the Moscow Art Theatre of Kiss My Ass. What can I say? The man loved his book titles.) So, right, like I said, as theatre artists go, I’m far more plumber than playwright (and I’m not even that good a plumber) but I did write one play for a playwriting class in 1995. The name of the play was Dude, and here is a list of the characters: Frank: College student, stoner Bill: College student, stoner Jimmy: College student. HUGE stoner. Always broke. Smokes all your shit. Seriously annoying- like, pretend you’re not even home when he comes to the door annoying. Frank and Bill’s best friend. Sam Spade: Evil German private detective. Possible Nazi war criminal. Stoner. Only smokes kind...