Well dear readers, it’s Sam the Sham again. Let’s not waste much time with me delving into an esoteric reason as to why I am disgruntled with stuff. Just know it involves summer camp, mononucleosis, Transformers 3, giant spiders, not going to Comic Con, and a can of black olives. There. Now that we got that out of the way… FIERCELY ANTICIPATING Within ten minutes of knowing me, you’ll find out that my birthday is (and has always been) on September 11th. I tell you this not for the pity party, but rather because it explains why I find humor in the absolute bleakest of moments, and it also comes with a good story. The short and sweet version is that a girl in college, on Sept. 11, 2002, asked me if my birthday had always been on 9/11. I said “Yes, since I was born,” which, remarkably, saddened her. When faced with tragedy, rather than weep and moan, I try and find a way to get those around me to laugh. Distract us from the obvious plight. I am the anti-Fox News. So what am I fiercely anticipating, you might ask? (I brought it back. Relax.) The rough road ahead! Some people turn to the bottle in time of trouble. I turn to comedians. With a new season of Louie, I am reminded about the struggle of the day to day minutiae, and how it can be soul-crushing… and yet hysterical from an outsider’s perspective. Patton Oswalt is coming out with a new album to take a few pop shots at the establishment. And a new season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (which I have, thankfully, finally come around to watching) is going to remind us all that we are inherently good...

. A Proof of Nerd ID by Charles Cron Thoughts to think on as you go about your day: PATRIOTS DAY EDITION September 11th will always be remembered by Americans for the incidents which ocurred in New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania. But many people forget that 9/11 has always been a day of ill omen. Take for example: On September 11, 9 A.D.: German tribesmen massacred three entire Roman Legions in The Battle of Teutoburg Forest, the first military defeat of the Roman Empire. On September 11, 1297: Scots led by William Wallace (aka Mel Gibson in Braveheart) defeated the British in The Battle of Stirling Bridge. On September 11, 1857: Mormons in Utah (possibly under the orders of Brigham Young) massacred 120 Arkansan emigrants traveling by wagon – the event would come to be known as the “Mountain Meadows Massacre.” Brigham Young On September 11, 1973: A CIA-backed coup d’etat in Chile leads to the overthrow of the democratically-elected President Salvador Allende and the installation of dictator Augusto Pinochet....