Dear Dr. Miro, In my fantasies, I objectify women. If I think about them too much as real life people they cease being sexy. I love my wife but as a loving caring brilliantly pure being. It’s only when I see her as a sweet piece of ass am I turned on by her. I understand that there are two different types of energies in a relationship: one for the heart & mind (the relationship), and then that other for the genitals (the sex). Both are important but how can I avoid killing that animalism of sex? I’m talking about that thing that disconnects the mind – the part that loses sight of “relationship stuff” like figuring out what couch to buy. Obviously, objectification is unhealthy. But isn’t that part of sexual attraction? Maybe it’s just a male thing or at least a masculine trait. Will this haunt me the rest of my life? I feel bad turning my wife into an object. Sincerely, Mr. Love2Love Her Dear Mr. L2LH, The quick answer is yes, there is a major element of objectification in sexual attraction and no, it is not a purely male thing. Read on if you want more details… Objectification is not unhealthy, in and of it’s self. Really, it is how you manage it. You are right in thinking that there are different levels of relating to each other, all very important, depending upon what type of interpersonal connections you desire. Objectifying another being can be extremely liberating if there is some understanding before and after of the person behind the object. This is specifically true for long-term situations. If we were discussing one-night stands or booty calls, this would not surface as an issue, in that all you have is...