Only the staunchest Shyamalanian apologist can deny that the quality of M. Night’s work has dropped into the Marianas Trench. His name used to be a quick selling point. “From Director M. Night Shyamalan” guaranteed instant audience interest. Throw in a popular leading man, say a Mel Gibson or a Bruce Willis, and the studio knew they had a hit. The Sixth Sense is a quality entertainment through and through. Sure you can nitpick the plot holes in the [Spoiler Alert – but get bent if this still applies to you] “he was dead the whole time” gimmick but it totally works because the characters and story are so solidly written you could throw it out and still have a fantastic movie. I’m not in love with Unbreakable because it feels like the first half of a better movie, but I willingly recognize it’s my own opinion as opposed to genuine criticism. It’s slower than a turtle with gout but it’s a build that, from a craft perspective, totally works. I’ll defend these films any given day but when it comes to the five on this list, I’m at a loss to offer even the most modest of defenses. My theory is that M. Night stopped developing his scripts and rushed to shoot them as concepts before they were fleshed out and realized. The Sixth Sense went through multiple drafts until it was perfect. That Bruce Willis’ character was actually dead the whole time wasn’t even a part of the story until halfway into revisions. Basically, he started smelling his own celluloid farts. If you’re not careful, the enormous success of your earlier work has the tendency to blow your ego into a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float-sized version of its former self. Add that to the fact that no one who wants a job with the emperor is going to point out the nudity of his script and you’ve got a recipe for the five stinkers below. Also, I should preface this by admitting that I’m not including Wide Awake and Praying With Anger as they were made prior to M. Night being M. Night. I know you could say that about The Sixth Sense but that’s the movie that launched the persona we all grew to love – and then hate. 5. SIGNS Actually, I take it back. I will defend Signs despite having the single dumbest villain weakness in the history of cinema. “Look guys, I know water kills us but I say we invade a planet made up almost entirely of H20 – and don’t worry about water vapor either, we’re not trying that hard.” Oh and the whole “swing away” thing is a good old fashioned eye roller. The thing is, Signs tells an effective story without the narrative chicanery. I’m including it here as #5 because it was the first entry in the M. Night oeuvre where the burden of having a plot twist started to weigh heavily on the film itself. The aliens were such a ridiculous add-on that it was clear Shyamalan got to the end and said, “screw it, it’s freakin’ water.” That’s where another draft would’ve come in useful. Had he taken the time to include the invaders as an integrated element instead of a gimmick, Signs would be an inarguable victory. As it stands, when discussing it, you’re forced to qualify your affection with “but the aliens totally sucked.” 4. Lady In The Water I know people who like this movie and though I don’t share their sentiment, I can at least agree that, for what it’s worth, Lady in the Water is internally consistent. That being said, boy is this dumb. Based on a bed time story that should’ve stayed in his ass, Lady in the Water tells an absurd story that’s not only hard to follow, but exceedingly difficult to care about. The...