Spend a couple of bucks, scratch off the ticket, and win big! That’s the promise of instant lottery ticket games. They advertise big prizes for a few dollars investment. But, can you actually win anything on these? I bought a bunch from two different states to find out. Last year, my good friend Simon and I dropped $20 in a Pennsylvania Lottery ticket machine and ended up scratching off tickets for the better part of an hour. While the biggest amount we hit was only $20, we kept getting free tickets over and over that we kept cashing in. Pennsylvania gave us a lot of play, and our money back, for that $20 investment. But, are other states just as loose with their tickets? The New York Lottery recently installed a flashy, new lottery ticket vending machine at the Herald Square subway station. In addition to dispensing scratch off tickets, players can also purchase regular number games, such as Powerball tickets, from this machine. So yes, you can now legally gamble while riding the subway! I pass this machine every day on my commute to work so I decided that I would give the New York Lottery a try. I dropped $30 into the machine and chose a variety of tickets ranging from $1 to $10, ending up with 11 tickets in all. Several New York commuters cued up behind me to use the machine. Once I arrived home in New Jersey, I stopped in at a local convenience store, purchasing an array of tickets to see what kind of luck the Garden State lottery would give me. I asked for $25 in a variety of tickets. There are no $1 tickets in New Jersey so I had to plop down an additional $1. With that, the clerk handed me 13...

The holiday shopping season is in full swing and loads of shoppers are hitting malls. Most major shopping centers are spread out over several levels, requiring a brief ride on an escalator to get from floor to floor. These inventions have saved us all from climbing flight after flight of stairs. While escalators are generally safe, sometimes things go wrong. Check out this video collection of escalator accidents and dumb mistakes.  Quite a few of these people didn’t quite make it to the top! The escalator, or moving staircase, was first patented by inventor Nathan Ames from Saugus, Massachusetts in 1859. His patent even mentions that the stairs could be carpeted or made of wood.  Another inventor, Leamon Souder, issued four patents for designs of his own, but none of their designs were built. Another inventor, Jesse W. Reno, patented his design for an “endless conveyor or elevator” in 1892. Reno, who graduated from Lehigh University in Pennsylvania, installed this first ever escalator type unit next to the Old Iron Pier at New York City’s Coney Island, just four years later. At that time, Coney Island was a big booming summer destination for the crowds of New Yorkers who flocked to the beaches, rides and wacky attractions. This first escalator design was basically a giant belt. A few months later, his prototype would be briefly tested at the end of the Brooklyn Bridge. Parts of his design were purchased by the now famous Otis Elevator Company, who worked patents from several other inventors into the basic moving stair design we all know today. I’ve personally ridden two of the three oldest escalator banks in the United States: • Macy’s, Herald Square – New York City • Macy’s (formerly Kaufman’s flagship store) – downtown Pittsburgh, PA The Westfield San Francisco Center in California...

Individuality. A healthy upbringing with a loving family. A well rounded education. Countless free hours of playing with friends. These are just some of the things that will win you jack shit as an Olympic gymnast. Olympic gymnasts should be raised in a box like veal – separated from their families and confined so tightly they can’t turn around and look at the childhood they left behind. At least veal calves get fed. Plus, veal calves are butchered privately – out of sight of the diners who consume them as delicious PETAschnitzel.  Nobody makes a veal calf put on a purple spangly leotard so that it can be slaughtered in public by a cold-eyed Bulgarian judge in front of millions of people for the unforgiveable sin of taking a half step out of bounds and then served to the public as a national disgrace. Just think, most of us will never have the opportunity to disgrace our nation and gymnasts get to do it before they’ve had their first period! Livin’ the Olympic dream! But if the gymnast is good enough and lucky enough to win the gold then she gets to bask in the adulation of her nation by starring in a Subway commercial with Apolo Anton Ohno and Jared unless her accomplishments are overshadowed by her hair. She might even get to compete on Dancing with the Stars and be mocked by the tabloids for getting fat. Seriously, leave ShawnJohn alone – she starved her whole life to bring four fucking medals to this worthless, ingrate lard-ass nation of ours. Let her eat a fuckin’ doughnut. Some people go into the desert to see god. Others go to find themselves, to make art, to commune with nature, to have visions, or to...

New York – millions of people and millions of stories. Having lived here for many years now, I’ve seen some crazy things. Every once in a while when I’m out and about, I snap a picture to share along with my friends. Now, I’ve sharing them with you! It was a random Wednesday morning and I was walking to work. While stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change, I looked down and found this…! I’m sure these Chicken McNuggets didn’t really fall from the sky like rain, but it looks like someone lost more than half of their 20 piece order. I don’t know about you, but I usually don’t see the sidewalk littered with deep fried chicken parts often. Last month, I spotted this sign posted in a Jersey City bar, just across the river from Manhattan.  Read the last line very carefully… Doesn’t consuming beverages at a bar make you hydrated — or less thirsty? Apparently not here! So, come in thirsty – because you’re going home even more dehydrated!   We’ve all heard about the chicken that crossed the road… well, here’s the pretzel that crossed the subway tracks.  Somehow, I don’t think this story would be good for children, especially when the 3 train comes barreling on in!   Yes, this giant cockroach was recently caught in a Manhattan high rise! Feel secure that a few hours earlier, it was crawling across somebody’s desk. You should have seen my co-workers freak out when I carried this thing around!   How would you like to drive this van with a giant hot dog on top? This thing blew past me at about 80 MPH on the Garden State Parkway, heading south of the city.   No, this is not a prop from Saturday Night Live… this...

I was recently standing on the subway platform waiting for the 2, 3 to go to work. Normally I walk, but I deemed it too cold. My walking, or not walking, has nothing to do with what I want to write about, but I just want it to be known that I pride myself on walking to work, thus saving money and getting some exercise. I even think it helps me lose weight. It really does not. But I love to put on my headphones and look at all the people swimming downstream on 6th Avenue as I hide unseen behind these magic headphones and check them all out. Perhaps it is hiding that I want to write about so this fits. Back to the subway platform. There are always billboards to read on the subway platform. I hate most of them, but they always get me thinking. A new film starring Katherine Heigl got me thinking “Why?”  A poster for the Metropolitan Museum gets me thinking that I don’t go enough and this gets me thinking that life is slipping through my hands. Thank God the Met billboard does not depress me sufficiently to turn around and jump in front of the oncoming express train. After I think about “why oncoming and not incoming?” I am calm. But talk about a selfish act; suicide stops the subway running for hours. Recently I saw this billboard that was an ad for the Braun Cruzer, which is some intricate electric shaver that would let you write your name in your neck in hair I think. It had the five boroughs of New York City represented by five different ways to have facial hair. Manhattan was an effete “we stole everything from alls y’all” Wall Street handlebar mustache; Brooklyn was the goatee, of course. Staten...