Girls & Guys – “Just Friends”? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, My girlfriend has a few close guy friends she hangs with and I think that’s wrong. I don’t go out with any females alone – their boyfriends would get angry they’re hanging with another man. I’m pretty sure these dudes are waiting for my girl to be weak & screw her when I’m not around. I can’t get this idea out of my head & when I ask her about it she gets really pissed off and says, “We’re just friends”. This is making me crazy! I’m not OK with this. How do I make her stop? What do I do? Sincerely, Crazed with Jealousy Dear CwJ, The question of whether straight males and females can ever truly be “just friends” with no sexual tension or thoughts of wanting more has been asked through out the ages. Perhaps your instinct is correct. There are always exceptions to this but on average, the answer is NO: Guys & Girls cannot be purely platonic on both sides. Even if she believes they are “just friends” these fellows probably do see your GF as a potential mate or conquest. However, the actual problem here is not whether or not these types of relationships are possible. You ask what to do about this situation as well as “How do I make her stop?” I have a feeling your S.O. was friends with these fellows before knowing you and will be way after you are out of her life. This jealousy is going to push her away from you; possibly into the arms of whom you most fear – those attentive male friends who have been listening to all those issues she has been having with you. You see, by not trusting a person’s ability to...

Gimme Your Password! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, I adore my girlfriend of six months but lately she’s been telling me I need to give her my email and Facebook passwords. When I said that I didn’t want to she accused me of being untrustworthy and secretive. I’m not hiding anything from her but I just don’t feel right about it. Should this be a deal-breaker & just get out? Sincerely, Should I Run? Dear SIR?, In our world with little to no privacy – people publicly blogging their Dear Diaries, pictures of family on Facebook, everyone’s home address a Google search away – it is important to hold onto some semblance of the personal. Sure, your girlfriend may think it is you being “untrustworthy and secretive” but really, where is HER trust? Her faith that you will not do anything to disrespect what you have together has to get in place, too. Maybe it will not. That is something you will need to feel out. This issue is coming up more and more. There has been a big deal made about middle and high school kids sharing passwords at an attempt towards special intimacy with one another. It makes sense: what else do they have to which no one else has access? There are some adult couples that even share email addresses! However, in the case with tweens and teens, it is bound to end messy. And, more often than not, the adult couples have a lot of issues around it, as well. Since you have discomfort with your Adored One’s demands, let her know. What is it about sharing your passwords that truly freaks you out? Think about it honestly. This could be a great opportunity to communicate what is and is not acceptable to both of...

Daddy Issues [Frankie Says…]

Frankie says… Sometimes you just have to put your foot down. For me it happened this week, when I realized that the man I was falling for was utterly, ultimately f-ed up. He was going to drag me down with him, or worse, use me like he uses the other girls. I’ve come to the conclusion that I have what the masses call ‘daddy issues.’ Actually, that’s a lie. I have always used that term loosely when describing my issues with men, but only recently has it actually had any weight. I always used it in this ethereal, unattached way – like even if I said it, it wasn’t actually me with the issue. I never truly believed it, just assumed it was part of my cultural make-up. Now, it’s showing its authenticity in the men I choose. They are usually in the same line of work my father is in, emotionally they are haywire, and they always don’t necessarily like me to begin with. It’s the winning them over that gives me the first thrill. It’s the power of turning them, making them see me and want to be with me. This resonates with the little girl in me who knew she had a father out there, but he didn’t want me – left before I was born and didn’t seem to care all that much that I existed until many, many years later, when I made him see me, made him want me. That initial gaining of control is what hooks me, and them. After that it turns into a game of ‘I like you. Do you like me?’ The constant search of approval, in whatever form it comes – sex is most often the medium. So I use that to keep...

Condom Allergy? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, I’ve insisted on using condoms with my girlfriend but she says she’s allergic to them. Is that even possible? I’m trying to be a responsible man but she’s making it really difficult and accusing me of not trusting her. So far this has resulted in me not getting ANY. I don’t feel like arguing about this and want to be with someone I can have sex with. Sincerely, Have Condoms Will Travel Dear HCWT, Good for you for trying to use condoms! First of all, a responsible grown up man deserves to be with someone who does not accuse him of mistrust when in reality you are doing the most trusting of all things. Your current girlfriend may indeed be “allergic” to something having to do with the condoms. Does she get a rash when using latex gloves or some band-aids? This will be a big indicator as to whether or not she has a latex sensitivity. Latex allergies are a lot more common than most people imagine. If this, indeed, is the problem, you have great options! You could get a Poly-Urethane prophylactic, like the Trojan Supra, which is actually stronger and thinner than latex while transmitting body heat. Or, you could go with a Poly-Isoprene love glove. Both Durex’s Avanti Bare and Lifestyles’ Skyn will meet that choice. These are the newest technology and cost less than other materials. PLUS, they are amazingly soft, stretchy and strong. If your GF’s sensitivity is not latex related, she may be reacting to chemicals and spermicides used in the pre-lubricated condoms, such as Nonoxynol-9. Though a seemingly a good idea, and as the name suggests, spermicides utilize substances that kill sperm. However, this happens due to the bleach like properties, which can...