Natalie Hall is Hailing the Chief [Fierce Anticipation]

Fiercely Anticipating: Presidents’ Day weekend. It’s here! That glimmer of hope right in the midst of our seasonal affective disorder*! The Federal Holiday that no one remembers! The perfect little blue balls-inducing holiday weekend: too short to merit a vacation, but long enough to keep us from realizing we should stop slaving away for our corporate overlords and open a cooperative beet farm in Oregon! This is a nice one because we don’t have to deal with all the tediousness that marrs our other three-day weekends. I don’t have to be proud of my country, I don’t have to remember anyone, and my facebook feed won’t clog with inspirational misquotes and do-gooder cyber shaming. (Our first President was as boring as he was wooden-toothed, and as such, he is not remembered for his pithy sayings. “Bad seed is a robbery of the worst kind: for your pocket-book not only suffers by it, but your preparations are lost and a season passes away unimproved.” Pull that one out on Monday and see how many likes you get.) There are no parades to block traffic, no fireworks to pretend to care about, no enforced group meat-charring to attend. This is perfect for me, because I hate mandatory fun and I strongly dislike pool parties. As you can probably guess, I have big plans for this weekend. The idea is to drive up to San Francisco, hang out with friends, see Pina in 3-D, and while lingering over artisanal beers, meet a 6 foot tall Indian architect who loves Shakespeare, sandwiches, and casual relationships. What’s going to happen is this: on Friday evening I will don some soft, non-binding sleep wear, open a bottle of wine, and peruse the photo albums of my facebook friends who mysteriously...

The Awesomest Thing About Being Single [Single White Nerd]

Y’know what the awesomest thing about being single is?  You can go anywhere and do anything!  Last week, for example, I just picked up stakes and drove up to Fresno.  Sure, it was for work, but I didn’t need to clear my schedule with anyone or check in.  I just rented a Kia and zipped up through the hinterlands of California. Man, there’s nothing like being on the open road.  Nothing but semis and farmland around you.  The wind whipping through the window and caressing your bald head.  Like mom patting a cowlick down before sending you out into the world.  That’s what moms do.  I’ve seen it in the moving pictures. And you get to your destination.  Fresno.  You don’t have to check in with anyone.  It’s great.  You get your work done and go to your hotel.  You banter with the front desk lady who, taken with your wit and charm (or maybe just out of rooms), offers you a free upgrade.  “It’s too bad your wife isn’t here,” she says, “to enjoy this deluxe suite with you.” You smile politely.  You swallow the urge to say “Wife?!  HAH!  I plan to take full advantage of this deluxe suite by jumping up and down on the bed and throwing my clothes about the room willy nilly!”  You go up to your room. The deluxe suite isn’t spacious, but does have a living room and a really big bed.  You empty your bag onto the sofa.  You jump up and down on the bed.  It’s fun!  You have a momentary twinge of wanting someone there to join in the fun and then remember that other people might not like jumping on the bed.  You realize that you’re hungry. You take your branded electronic...