I chose this post because I knew that if I didn’t, Ernessa would murder me with an ice-pick. And then Jessica Fletcher would have to solve the case of who murdered me with an ice pick, and Angela Lansbury is too old for that shit. So here you go- enjoy! Let’s say you killed Guy Fieri and dumped his body in a swamp- accidentally, of course. That is to say, you killed him accidentally- it would be very hard to drop something in a swamp accidentally unless you lived in the Everglades and were a particularly poor juggler in which case you’d be dropping beanbags and kittens in the swamp all the time but, on the plus side, you’d be surrounded by happy, well-fed gators. Anyhow, let’s say hypothetically you did accidentally kill Guy Fieri and drop his body in a swamp- well- that would be something to be really embarrassed about- way more embarrassing than watching Murder, She Wrote on TV Land every night, which is the only thing I’m guilty of- even if I am watching it on DVR, so there’s no possible way I can say that I watched it by accident. After all, DVR implies intent, malice, forethought and cold blooded calculation as was demonstrated in the landmark Supreme Court Case The People of California vs That Dude at Work Who’s Always Talking About the Kardashians Even Though He Swears He’s Only Watched Khloe and Lamar Like, Once And He Only Did That Because He’s a Such A Huge Hoops Fan (Barack Obama). I mean, come on, after the 15th consecutive hour, there’s no way in hell I can say I just happened to watch Murder, She Wrote by accident since I was flipping channels to get away from Guy Fieri (the television love...