Tall Drink of Nerd: Pondering the Unthinkable
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a blogumn by Amy Robinson
What I’m about to say might sound like sacrilege to some FaN readers, and I know that it definitely will to some blogumnists; I’m seriously thinking of getting rid of our TV.
I’m thinking this scandalous thought not because we never watch TV, and it’s not a resolution. I’m pondering the unthinkable because, well, I have a problem. My name is Amy and I am a television addict.
This all started years ago. Even as a child, with only 3 major networks and PBS to choose from, the glowing box held me tight in dulling chains, invading every memory of my girlhood. At Grandma’s house, my cousins and I would watch Godzilla movies in the basement on an old TV that needed 10 minutes to warm up. Outside playtime was usually based on Little House on the Prairie (of course, we really did live on the prairie, so it wasn’t much of a stretch). At sleepovers, terrifying scenes from Night Gallery would run over and over in my imagination, making sleep impossible. Even my first kiss was just a reenactment of a scene from Guiding Light. As a friendless teenager, empty weekend nights were wasted on Fame and The Love Boat. I shared Cheerios on Sunday morning with my TV best buddy, Doctor Who. On the Sunday morning when Adrick, the Doctor’s faithful sidekick died, I was devastated. To say that I was hooked is an embarrassing understatement.
There have been a few times in my life when I was sans TV. I gained more friends, produced theatre, sang in cabarets and was prosaic in my writing. Museums were frequented, adventures undertaken and life stories built. But now, nearly at the middle of my ages, I look back and see potential and decades wasted with eyes glazed, mouth slightly agape, lost in storylines that float advertisements.
I have tried to restrict myself on a TV diet several times before, planning to watch only so many hours a week. That usually falters quickly. Like a sugar addict with a bag of fun-size Snickers, one treat will not satisfy. I envy folks who can watch for 20 minutes and then move on with their lives, but I crave the comfort in a full evening veg-out after long hours at a stressful day job. Most times, it doesn’t matter what is on; sure I’ll watch Titanic on TBS for the 534th time! TV gives us small-talk fodder, conversation fertilizer and a direct expressway to pop culture coolness. Like any other addict, I know my addiction isn’t adding real quality to my life, but I crave it. It’s stupid, and I, ergo, am an idiot for letting it control me.
So now I’m thinking of ridding myself of this beast cold turkey. Has anyone out there in FaN-land ever tried this? Are you now, or have you ever been TV-free? I need to hear of successes, because, well, I’m a little antsy about ditching my life long bestie, but I’m really thinking life might be better. Besides, since Hulu.com has every show online, I can still catch the good ones. Just that little taste won’t hurt me? Right?
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i always like to joke that my heat can be turned off but not my cable. this sounds awful. don't do it!!!!!!!!!!! in truth, i have curtailed my TV viewing significantly. i'm reading more than i used to, but i also have made a point to fill my calendar with social and volunteer activities. and then the weekends are for ROCK OF LOVE!!!!
i always like to joke that my heat can be turned off but not my cable. this sounds awful. don't do it!!!!!!!!!!! in truth, i have curtailed my TV viewing significantly. i'm reading more than i used to, but i also have made a point to fill my calendar with social and volunteer activities. and then the weekends are for ROCK OF LOVE!!!!
Oh, you've so come to the right place. I have kicked the TV habit at least once a year since 2003. In grad school I didn't have the internet or cable. That helped immensely, but it was not fun to be out of touch with pop culture. There are few things that you can safely talk to a ton of people about and TV is one of 'em.
So as an expert TV rehabber, I would suggest making a rule that you can't watch TV live unless it's CNN or MSNBC or [put your preferred newschannel here]. Live TV is a complete time suck and really wasteful when it comes to time you could be using to write or do something else.
I also don't watch TV after 11 am or before 9pm at night on weekdays. if you're really too tired after work to do anything but veg out, then veg out on a book. I know this is a particularly hard rule with a spouse, but I either go to another room or tell CH to watch the military channel if he wants to watch TV before 9pm. I'm sure your spouse can watch a ton of stuff that you don't want to watch, too. But more times than not, CH just works quietly on his own projects while I finish up with mine. For instance right now he is painting while I write this.
The only way I can get around the above rule is if I finish ALL of my TO DO list for the day, before my no TV window is up. Then early TV is an award for being super productive. You'd be surprise how often I can get my act together and get everything I need to get done early when TV is involved.
Last but not least, I don't tape new series after I've missed their first seasons. It helps that we can't watch the latest seasons of Burn Notice, Eureka, or Leverage until they come out on DVD.
Hope this helps!
etc
P.S. — If you take one piece of advice, I'd suggest not watching live TV anymore. You'd be surprised how much more you enjoy TV when you're not just settling for anything.
Oh, you've so come to the right place. I have kicked the TV habit at least once a year since 2003. In grad school I didn't have the internet or cable. That helped immensely, but it was not fun to be out of touch with pop culture. There are few things that you can safely talk to a ton of people about and TV is one of 'em.
So as an expert TV rehabber, I would suggest making a rule that you can't watch TV live unless it's CNN or MSNBC or [put your preferred newschannel here]. Live TV is a complete time suck and really wasteful when it comes to time you could be using to write or do something else.
I also don't watch TV after 11 am or before 9pm at night on weekdays. if you're really too tired after work to do anything but veg out, then veg out on a book. I know this is a particularly hard rule with a spouse, but I either go to another room or tell CH to watch the military channel if he wants to watch TV before 9pm. I'm sure your spouse can watch a ton of stuff that you don't want to watch, too. But more times than not, CH just works quietly on his own projects while I finish up with mine. For instance right now he is painting while I write this.
The only way I can get around the above rule is if I finish ALL of my TO DO list for the day, before my no TV window is up. Then early TV is an award for being super productive. You'd be surprise how often I can get my act together and get everything I need to get done early when TV is involved.
Last but not least, I don't tape new series after I've missed their first seasons. It helps that we can't watch the latest seasons of Burn Notice, Eureka, or Leverage until they come out on DVD.
Hope this helps!
etc
P.S. — If you take one piece of advice, I'd suggest not watching live TV anymore. You'd be surprised how much more you enjoy TV when you're not just settling for anything.
Heroin. You'll sell your tv to support your habit. TURN THE DAMN THING OFF!!!
Heroin. You'll sell your tv to support your habit. TURN THE DAMN THING OFF!!!
Ernessa's plan sounds eminently reasonable, but then Ernessa is one of those annoying people who gets a lot done because she's truly self-disciplined. I don't think she quite hears the cry of desparation that I detect.
I was TV free for several years in the late eighties, early nineties, and I loved it. Like you, I got a lot more reading, writing and thinking done. I remember once telling a girl at a party that I had no TV. She looked at me like I was an alien from outer space and said, "Don't you feel like you're missing something?" "No," I said. "Don't you?" I was a smug asshole about it, really. But it did strike me as a telling sign of who we've become that "watching" not living, is considered something to miss, but living isn't.
I've wished we could ditch our TV again in recent years, but I don't think it's likely. If you do get rid of yours I'll be jealous, and I'll want to here updates on how it's going.
Ernessa's plan sounds eminently reasonable, but then Ernessa is one of those annoying people who gets a lot done because she's truly self-disciplined. I don't think she quite hears the cry of desparation that I detect.
I was TV free for several years in the late eighties, early nineties, and I loved it. Like you, I got a lot more reading, writing and thinking done. I remember once telling a girl at a party that I had no TV. She looked at me like I was an alien from outer space and said, "Don't you feel like you're missing something?" "No," I said. "Don't you?" I was a smug asshole about it, really. But it did strike me as a telling sign of who we've become that "watching" not living, is considered something to miss, but living isn't.
I've wished we could ditch our TV again in recent years, but I don't think it's likely. If you do get rid of yours I'll be jealous, and I'll want to here updates on how it's going.
holy moley! Ernessa, I'm going to use your plan as an instruction manual on kicking the tube. (though I believe Jeff is right about your self-disciplinedness.) The problem starts at nightly with MSNBC, cause we're addicted to Keith and Rachel. But I think , no i CAN leave that to Seen and get some work/relaxin/reading done.
Oh and Angry, I like your idea too, cause that'll help me with lose all the weight I've put on in front of the TV!
PS: totally love Burn Notice, mainly for Bruce Campbell.
holy moley! Ernessa, I'm going to use your plan as an instruction manual on kicking the tube. (though I believe Jeff is right about your self-disciplinedness.) The problem starts at nightly with MSNBC, cause we're addicted to Keith and Rachel. But I think , no i CAN leave that to Seen and get some work/relaxin/reading done.
Oh and Angry, I like your idea too, cause that'll help me with lose all the weight I've put on in front of the TV!
PS: totally love Burn Notice, mainly for Bruce Campbell.
As long as you're utilizing the TV for artistic and cultural growth that Rock of Love engenders, you are my hero.
As long as you're utilizing the TV for artistic and cultural growth that Rock of Love engenders, you are my hero.
The DVR helps with the habit – I can watch what I want, when I want, which means there's a little less staring at the screen waiting for something good. It also avoids commercials, making that 1 hour show more like 40 minutes. I find that the TV may be on more than I care to admit, but I don't feel like I'm watching it as much – I'm playing with the baby (that's a good way to never be able ot watch a whole movie at home ever again!), reading email or F&N, or surfing the net with the TV as a background distraction.
The DVR helps with the habit – I can watch what I want, when I want, which means there's a little less staring at the screen waiting for something good. It also avoids commercials, making that 1 hour show more like 40 minutes. I find that the TV may be on more than I care to admit, but I don't feel like I'm watching it as much – I'm playing with the baby (that's a good way to never be able ot watch a whole movie at home ever again!), reading email or F&N, or surfing the net with the TV as a background distraction.
Yes – the DVR saves time and you should record only the shows you're really into. I have another plan at my house to limit TV viewing. Start watching a recorded show at which time your husband falls asleep. Nudge him (or throw something) at the end and he'll wake up and start it over again…and fall asleep again. Repeat until he's watched the whole thing & you've done the sudoku & crossword, read a magazine &/or cleaned up the kitchen &/or (insert household chore or kid-related activity here). Works great!
Yes – the DVR saves time and you should record only the shows you're really into. I have another plan at my house to limit TV viewing. Start watching a recorded show at which time your husband falls asleep. Nudge him (or throw something) at the end and he'll wake up and start it over again…and fall asleep again. Repeat until he's watched the whole thing & you've done the sudoku & crossword, read a magazine &/or cleaned up the kitchen &/or (insert household chore or kid-related activity here). Works great!
I'll help you with your addiction. I won't let you watch any more crappy shows like "The Closer or American Idol". You can only watch news in the morning, MSNBC, burn notice and fringe and that's it. (oh yeah, plus Daily show, Colbert, Metalocalypse and Venture Bros.)
and Netflix movies. Shit, this is gonna be hard.
One more thing, does Wii, PS3 and Xbox count?
Mr. Co-Dependant.
Thanks for having my back honey. Fire up the Wii boxing!!
I'll help you with your addiction. I won't let you watch any more crappy shows like "The Closer or American Idol". You can only watch news in the morning, MSNBC, burn notice and fringe and that's it. (oh yeah, plus Daily show, Colbert, Metalocalypse and Venture Bros.)
and Netflix movies. Shit, this is gonna be hard.
One more thing, does Wii, PS3 and Xbox count?
Mr. Co-Dependant.
Thanks for having my back honey. Fire up the Wii boxing!!