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Werrrrrk it [Fierce in Seattle]
I am one of those freaks that apparently thrives on chaos. Why else would I work a full time job, be an active volunteer, write for 2 blogs (and about to start a daily third one), and now start my own business on the side? Normal folks don’t do this stuff. But then, I am certain I will never be considered “normal,” nor do I want to be. And this is why I have decided to begin my own freelance event production company. It is exhilarating, exciting and exhausting. But I signed up for this. I’m about to turn 40 and now it seems I’m taking those risks that I was never confident enough to take 10 years ago, or even 2 years ago, for that matter.
This isn’t my first time starting a small business and I’m sure it won’t be my last. One thing that has changed since my last effort is not only the explosion of social networking but my ability to network live in person. Back when I was an actor in LA I hated, hated, hated networking, or as we called it then, “schmoozing.” I had pals who excelled at this form of human communication, but I would often freeze up and be very quiet, would leave early and basically not be myself. I always felt like I was forcing people to talk to me and felt that speaking to me was not worthy of their time, that I was completely exposed & naked. Self esteem = zero points.
Actual naked networking is not advised.
Fast forward over a decade later, minus some bad habits, moving to a different city, becoming active in philanthropy, falling in love, and other major life changes…somehow the confidence worked itself out. And it couldn’t have happened at a better time in my life.
When you know who you are, know what you want and know what you can give to the world, there’s an innate sense of peace. So when I meet someone new I see it as an opportunity to grow with my personal connections, my business, my community. In the past I had viewed it as if I were trying to get something out of someone that didn’t want to give anything to me in the first place. I feel I now have the life experience and the tools to break the ice and initiate a casual conversation with a potential client, vendor or friend without feeling like I want to run away and puke.
So how do you network? Is it difficult or a snap for you to promote yourself?
I still find it a bit difficult to network IRL. Mostly, I just try to treat every meeting like a genuine conversation. Funnily enough, my Wednesday blogumn is all about my introversion work-arounds.
Yes! That is exactly what I had to do…remember that I was talking to people and not pitching some project or myself. Go figure! ; )
While I have many friends, I am extremely socially awkward. I hate going to networking events, meeting new people, etc, because I feel the exact same was as you did Kelli. How did you change that…because being in the business I do need to be more of an extrovert….and it’s almost terrifying for me at times. I don’t want to just hide behind facebook and twitter to be “socially active”. The last few months have made it clear that I do need to change my behavior…but how?
Here, here! I found that going to networking events of like-minded people was a good start. In Seattle in particular there are tons of networking groups for women, so that’s one thing in common, har har. I’m also starting my own happy hour group of creative types that will facilitate my networking even further.
As far as tips while at an event, I usually will scan the room for anyone I know, and hopefully they are talking to someone already so I can casually say hello & perhaps grow the convo from there. And if I am solo in my boat, I will find the person that looks the most engaging, or sometimes, who dresses the coolest. I can at least break the ice with “that dress is fantastic!” Sharing a compliment (and an earnest one, especially) is always a good move. People love to hear they are fabulous and will definitely want to talk to you because you now have such good taste! ; )
And if that doesn’t work, get loaded. Kidding!!! Well, sort of. A little bit of an adult beverage can definitely take the edge off.
Good luck!
That’s why I’m not a huge fan of networking while pregnant. My usual M.O. is to go straight to the bar and have at least one glass of wine b/f engaging with anyone. The last time I was pregnant, I found networking to be excruciating w/o that extra bit of liquid courage. However, I made it a policy not to drink at book events, so I think I’ve figured out how to be social w/o wine now. I think…
Unfortunately people in my field are fiercely competitive ( I am, but not to their face!) even at social gatherings, and every conversation becomes about judging what each other is working on or if you can be used to get someone further/a job, and if it isn’t clear in the first two minutes that you are…the conversation is over. It’s disgusting, and one reason why I hate going to design oriented events. I get along well with tv/screenwriters as I often follow my husband to events…and since most of these people are as socially awkward as I am, I do somewhat well, but it’s definitely not the same kind of networking for me.
But I love your tip about complimenting someone, and since I happen to be a designer, I can do so genuinely. Usually when people find out I’m designer after I’ve complimented them on something they take the compliment even better. So thank you for that tip!
‘Zactly! I sucked at schmoozing when I was trying to be in the business of show. If I thought anyone was “important” or could help my career, I turned into a moron. I’m getting better at it now, but still get tongue tied around successful people. Good luck in your new venture! Keep us updated!