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Wonderfully Awful: Your Hedges Need a Trim


a blogumn by Robin Rosenzweig

Ever since I started musing on all that is Wonderfully Awful in the world, it seems that others have found fun in helping me discover these things. This is incredibly helpful on a day like today, when the sun is shining and the weather is warm and I have a hard time focusing my mind on one particular topic amongst all that is Wonderfully Awful. Luckily, thanks to the help of friends and family, I have a few new discoveries worth sharing.


American broadcast television is notoriously uptight, and in order to see truly funny, borderline offensive commercials, we usually must look to other countries. But either the America’s delicate sensibilities are lightening up, or this commercial for the Schick Quattro Trimstyle for Women managed to sneakily slip through the cracks. The commercial is for a razor that features a waterproof bikini trimmer. The commercial shows women in various situations, from jogging to meeting a girlfriend for lunch to swimming. It also shows bushes of various shapes and sizes around them. And every time the women pass by, the bushes…shrink. And some of them form neat little shapes. It really is about as blatant a message as they can possibly send without actually showing women trimming their personal hedges. I can thank my sister for bringing this gem to my attention:

Two more Wonderfully Awful things after the jump:


Speaking of my sister, she recently saw the touring production of Grease at the Pantages Theater in Los Angeles. The “big name” on the marquee is none other than American Idol winner Taylor Hicks. This prematurely silver fox and leader of the Soul Patrol is onstage for all of one song (Beauty School Dropout, but of course). He’s a charismatic performer, so according to my sister’s post-show review, having him in this role was fine by her. Except that they didn’t leave well enough alone. At the end of the show, after the curtain call, the character of Vince Fontaine comes back onstage and says something about how the audience is about to flash forward from 1959 to 2009. He then trots Taylor Hicks back out to sing a song from his new album to a captive and shocked theater audience. According to my sister, much of the audience – many of which paid good money for a night at the theater – was completely and utterly horrified at what they were being forced to watch. It was enough to make her write a Wonderfully Awful-esque rant entitled “Open Letter to Taylor Hicks Agent” on her Facebook page. If she’s really nice, she’ll post it in the comments section.


And last but not least, we all know of songs with completely unintelligible lyrics. And there is perhaps no artist that is more notorious for slurred vocal stylings than Eddie Vedder. With no progress in sight toward the correct interpretation of mumbled Pearl Jam lyrics, some enterprising YouTube users have started a trend of putting together videos based on what Eddie Vedder and other mush mouth artists *sound* like they’re saying. I first became aware of the existence of these videos at a baby shower that featured karaoke, of all things. One of the performers made a karaoke video from the misheard lyrics video for Pearl Jam’s “Yellow Ledbetter” – perhaps one of the greatest songs that nobody can possibly understand. Watching someone sing along as we watched the video highlighting nonsensical lyrics that, for all intents and purposes, *sound* correct was downright priceless. I have found other misheard lyrics videos on the internet, but in my opinion, none are as great as this “Yellow Ledbetter” video.

. photo credit: Michael Wilson