Wow! It’s Wednesday! Nerdy Valentine [What to do if you drop your iPhone 4 in the toilet]

Two weeks ago I somehow managed to do what I’ve been avoiding doing for over 10 years now: forgetting that I had my iPhone in my back pocket when I went to use the bathroom. So after fishing my smartphone out of the toilet (a pretty icky endeavor which made me rethink our environmentalist stance of only flushing when we go #2), I turned it on to see if it was still working. Later on I would find out that this is the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do when your phone gets wet for the simple reason that electricity + water = short-circuit — and not the cute movie-about-a-robot kind.

So just in case this happens to you, don’t be me. Do this instead.

1. Fish your phone out of toilet

2. DON’T push any buttons!!!

3. Dry it off with a towel.

4. Put the iPhone in a bag of rice to dry it out — if you’re like me and don’t want to taint your entire bag of rice with a urine-covered iPhone, then pour a generous amount into a ziplock bag and put the phone in that.

5. Set bag in window and then wait two days before turning it back on.

Now if you, unlike me, were lucky enough to have read this before you stupidly turned your iPhone on to see if it was still working after you dropped it in the toilet, then your iPhone will probably be fine — though you yourself might not be after 48 hours of iPhone withdrawal, which is the exact same in my opinion as heroin withdrawal.

But if you did turn it on like I did, then your screen might have gone black. Basically everybody’s home but the lights aren’t on, and what’s the use of having a working smartphone if you can’t see what’s going on.

At this point you’re looking at money to fix it. And this is why it’s preferable to accidentally drop your iPhone in the toilet around Valentine’s Day. I thought my iPhone was gonezo. We had given CH’s old iPhone to our daughter when he upgraded and loaded it up with all her favorite games, so that she’d have something to play with when we took her out to restaurants, on long road trips, and you know, while we were watching JEOPARDY, which she doesn’t appreciate nearly as much as we do. So how embarrassing was it when I had to take the iPhone back from the baby, so that I could have a smartphone again. Not only was it really sticky, but also going back to the iPhone 3 after having had th iPhone 4, feels a lot like going back to your ex-boyfriend after sabotaging your relationship with your dream guy. It keeps you warm in bed, but…

But anyway here’s what CH presented me with on Valentine’s Day. Mmm, chocolate!

But this is what was inside:

Yes, that’s my original iPhone! CH found this place, which not only put on a new screen, but also gave me the oh-so-chic-geek upgrade of white plates. My little nerdy heart just about exploded with love …  then I asked what happened to the chocolate. Apparently, CH, figuring that I wouldn’t want cheap chocolate, had given it away to the guys at work. What?!?! At least he now knows that I’m totally okay with cheap chocolate. It’s really important to discuss these things in a relationship, and we’re a much stronger couple now for having learned that important lesson.

As for the cost of fixing the iPhone and getting new plates: CH won’t tell me. Apparently it was somewhere between “not inexpensive” and “much cheaper than buying a new off-plan iPhone.” Ah (really nerdy) amore! I’ll leave you with a couple more shots of what I’m now calling “my personal storm trooper.”