Yelp! To Breech Whininess Threshold, Asking Users To Chill The Hell Out [Daily News Brief]

San Francisco, CA – Friday
By Joshua Mauldin

A representative from Yelp!, the website dedicated to costumer-based business reviews, addressed the media Friday morning to warn users that the level of whining is reaching a dangerous high. “Our system isn’t built to handle the absurd amount of bellyaching, pentulance and otherwise griping posted by reviewers every second.” In an effort to level off the hazardous complaining, Yelp! is asking that users exercise common sense before bashing an establishment for minuscule inconveniences. “For [expletive deleted]’s sake, not every minor imperfection is worth writing six paragraphs of childish grousing.”

The representative went on to provide examples of what isn’t worth bunching one’s boxers over. “All gyms play terrible music, you’re going to listen to your iPod anyway, why would you bitch about that? And restaurants, unless you actually have Celiac disease, the lack of gluten-free menu choices isn’t a ‘serious concern.’ If you do have celiac disease, don’t go to an Italian restaurant in the first place.” Further guidelines of what does not constitute a legitimate complaint will be posted to Yelp!’s main page this afternoon.

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