‘House of Cards’ Lets ‘Boardwalk Empire’ Sleep In Its Car – 65th Emmy Award Nominations Announced

I don’t watch a lot of television because it’s a worm hole of lost time when I should be writing or sleeping or working out or replacing the low battery in my fire alarm (sorry baby, I promise I’ll get to it this weekend).

However, I did manage to watch House of Cards when Netflix released it earlier this year – lost a whole weekend – and that’s why I’m pleasantly surprised to see it recognized for the badass political drama it is.

From Variety:

“House of Cards” had nine nominations overall. Lead acting nominations for the series went to Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright, and David Fincher was nominated for directing the opening episode.

I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but Joel Schumacher directed a few of the episodes and I never would’ve known had they not mentioned him in the credits.

It’s too bad they didn’t let him make creative decisions, the only thing missing in House of Cards is visible Spacey nipples. Disappointed fans like myself will just have to check behind the bushes of London Park to see those.

Along with Arrested Development, Netflix broke the platform mold for digitally distributed programming by receiving a total of 14 nominations. Which is weird because I haven’t not watched a series on Netflix for some time now.

Netflix, like Google, is a verb at this point – as in, “You haven’t seen Breaking Bad? Netflix that shit before I punch you in the face.”

“American Horror Story” had 17 nominations for the second year in a row, leading all programs. “Game of Thrones” had 16 to lead all series.

Woah, woah, hold on. American Horror Story had 17 nominations last year? I caught the first half of that POS and stopped watching when it became abundantly clear the writers had no idea where they were going with that story. “Here Piggy Piggy” was the single dumbest subplot of the last decade.

Congrats to you Game of Thrones fans.

It’s a nice day for a, Red Wedding!

Except for “House of Cards” replacing “Boardwalk Empire,” the drama series nominations remained the same as last year: were 2012 winner “Homeland,” “Breaking Bad,” “Downton Abbey,” “Game of Thrones” and “Mad Men.”

In comedy series, five of six nominees also returned: “30 Rock,” “The Big Bang Theory,” “Girls,” “Modern Family” and “Veep,” with “Louie” replacing “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

I don’t understand the love for Big Bang Theory but a lot of my friends with quality taste in programming (quality being similar to mine of course) seem to enjoy it. Every time I stumble on the Aspy Fun Hour it looks like this to me:

The good news here is that Louie picked up a rightful nominatioon for best comedy series. It could’ve also been nominated for best drama series and I don’t think anyone would’ve complained.

Since it was 30 Rock‘s last season I’m going to assume the voters will toss the Emmy their direction. Fine by me, it’s been one of the most consistently well-written comedies since it first aired.

Nominations for reality-competition series went to longtime behemoth “The Amazing Race,” “Dancing with the Stars,” “Project Runway,” “So You Think You Can Dance,” “Top Chef” and “The Voice.” In reality program, the noms were “Antiques Roadshow,” “Deadliest Catch,” “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” “MythBusters,” “Shark Tank” and “Undercover Boss.”

No Chopped?

“Hello, police, I’d like to report a robbery. Can I describe the suspect? Yes, he’s got spiked, frosted blond hair with dark roots. An obnoxious van dyke…uh huh, right, the kind that fat guys wear to hide their chin. Stupid sunglasses, shorts, faux-rockabilly style shirt. Is he the lead singer of Smash Mouth? I don’t think so.

You know what, let me text you his picture.”

Nice shades bro, no homo.

Lead drama actor nominations went to defending champ Damian Lewis of “Homeland,” Hugh Bonneville (“Downton Abbey”), Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”), Jeff Daniels (“The Newsroom”), Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”) and Spacey.

My money’s on Walt here but I’d give it to Spacey for the church congregation speech alone. Though, I can shill for Hugh too, the chances of someone accidentally saying, “Bonerville” go way up.

Note to self, pitch porn parody title: Backdoor Abbey starring Huge Bonerville. Find out if Farrah Abraham can do an English accent.

In lead drama actress, new-show nominees Connie Britton (“Nashville”), Vera Farmiga (“Bates Motel”) and Wright joined 2012 winner Claire Danes (“Homeland”), Michelle Dockery (“Downton Abbey”), Elisabeth Moss (“Mad Men”) and Kerry Washington (“Scandal”).

Any chance we can initiate some kind of retroactive nomination system and give it to Connie Britton for Friday Night Lights instead of Nashville? Look at the difference in the quality of projects between the male and female nominees. Breaking Bad and Mad Men or Nashville and Bates Motel? I haven’t seen Scandal but people on Facebook were threatening to draw-and-quarter anyone giving away spoilers – that has to mean something.

Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin of departing NBC series “30 Rock” each completed their streak of acting nominations for all seven years of the show’s run. They were joined on the comedy lead actor side by Bateman, Louis C.K. (“Louie”), Don Cheadle (“House of Lies”), Matt LeBlanc (“Episodes”) and Jim Parsons (“The Big Bang Theory”) and on the actress side by HBO thesps Laura Dern (“Enlightened”), Lena Dunham (“Girls”) and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (last year’s winner for “Veep”), along with Edie Falco (“Nurse Jackie”) and Amy Poehler (“Parks and Recreation.”)

It wasn’t that long ago that the Emmys were basically a joke and the Oscars were the only serious awards in town (if any award show can be considered serious). Thanks to networks pursuing niche stories with creative freedom and film studios choosing spectacle over nuance to broaden its tentpole appeal, television is where the best storytelling is happening. Seriously, check out this full list from The Guardian:

Drama actor: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey; Damian Lewis, Homeland; Kevin Spacey, House of Cards; Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom

 

Drama actress: Vera Farmiga, Bates Motel; Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey; Claire Danes, Homeland; Robin Wright, House of Cards; Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men; Connie Britton, Nashville; Kerry Washington, Scandal

 

Lead actor in a miniseries or movie: Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra; Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra; Toby Jones, The Girl; Benedict Cumberbatch, Parade’s End; Al Pacino, Phil Spector

 

Lead actress in a miniseries or movie: Jessica Lange, American Horror Story; Laura Linney, The Big C; Helen Mirren, Phil Spector; Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals; Elisabeth Moss, Top Of The Lake

 

Reality TV host: Ryan Seacrest, American Idol; Betty White, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers; Tom Bergeron, Dancing With The Stars; Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, Project Runway; Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance; Anthony Bourdain, The Taste

 

Comedy series actor: Jason Bateman, Arrested Development; Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory; Matt LeBlanc, Episodes; Don Cheadle, House Of Lies; Louie CK, Louie; Alex Baldwin, 30 Rock

 

Comedy series actress: Laura Dern, Enlightened; Lena Dunham, Girls; Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie; Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation; Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

 

Reality TV/competition: The Amazing Race, Dancing With The Stars, Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, The Voice

 

Variety series: The Colbert Report , The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Real Time With Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live

 

Miniseries or movie: American Horror Story: Asylum, Behind The Candelabra, The Bible, Phil Spector, Political Animals, Top Of The Lake

 

Comedy series: The Big Bang Theory, Girls, Louie, Modern Family, 30 Rock, Veep

 

Drama series: Breaking Bad, Downton Abbey, Game Of Thrones, Homeland, House Of Cards, Mad Men

 

Supporting actor in a drama series: Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire; Jonathan Banks, Breaking Bad; Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad; Jim Carter, Downton Abbey; Peter Dinklage, Game Of Thrones; Mandy Patinkin, Homeland

 

Supporting actress in a drama series: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad; Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey; Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones; Christine Baranski, The Good Wife; Morena Baccarin, Homeland; Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

 

Guest actor in a drama series: Nathan Lane, The Good Wife; MIchael J Fox, The Good Wife; Rupert Friend, Homeland; Robert Morse, Mad Men; Harry Hamlin, Mad Men; Dan Bucatinsky, Scandal;

 

Guest actress in a drama series: Margo Martindale, The Americans; Diana Rigg, Game of Thrones; Carrie Preston, The Good Wife; Linda Cardellini, Mad Men; Jane Fonda, The Newsroom; Joan Cusack, Shameless

 

Writing for a drama series: George Mastras, Breaking Bad; Thomas Schnauz, Breaking Bad; Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey; DB Weiss, Game of Thrones; Henry Bromell, Homeland

 

Directing for a drama series: Tim Van Patten, Breaking Bad; Jeremy Webb, Downton Abbey; Lesli Linka Glatter, Homeland; David Fincher, House of Cards

 

Supporting actor in a comedy series: Adam Driver, Girls; Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family; Ed O’Neill, Modern Family; Ty Burrell, Modern Family; Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live; Tony Hale, Veep

 

Supporting actress in a comedy series: Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory; Jane Lynch, Glee; Sofia Vergara, Modern Family, Julie Bowen, Modern Family; Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock; Anna Chlumsky, Veep