The Indie Chronicles: Mind the @#$%ING Gap
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a new blogumn by R.B. Ripley
There’s a gap between the movies rattling around in my head and what actually winds up in one of my scripts. In my mind, I laugh, cheer, weep, and scream with anger at my stories – all the responses a good film should elicit. But on the page? Meh. Not so much. I’ve been aware of The Gap for years and managed to successfully pretend it didn’t exist, mostly through booze and often through hours and hours of debate with other writers about any number of pointless theories of stage, writing, film, politics… you know what I’m talking about.
During the past eighteen months though, The Gap has grown uncontrollably to become for me a vast, unbridgeable chasm filled with a massive, writhing, angry and tangled clot of intellectual abstractions made up of structure, character, transitions, reversals, arcs, milestones, genre, and the particularly frustrating, generalized “commercial appeal”. To put it simply, my brain is SO in the way of my story telling.
In September, this all came to a head as I was re-reading Arthur Miller’s All My Sons and actually had the thought, “He’s not that great of a writer.” The dam shattered.
Three minutes later, I was weeping like a character in an old Joan Crawford movie, frantically paging through tomes of Greek tragedy looking for a storyline, a scrap of dialogue… anything to help me to translate one of the eighteen thousand stories from my head to the page. At that moment, I was Medea without the kids or crappy husband. But just like that crazy gal, the only thing I found at the end of the rainbow was more frustration. Rather than kill everyone and myself, I dove into a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a stack of Netflix and tried to pretend nothing had happened. I had, in a word, panicked. And it was not pretty. My husband stayed out of my way for days. Even the dogs wouldn’t come near me, hiding under the bed when I walked into the room. Dogs know crazy.
My limited wisdom told me I needed to approach storytelling from a fresh perspective. And any approach that involved a writing implement, legal pad, journal or computer was definitely out.
I was… alone… in The Gap.
As a way to distract myself from actually solving the problem of my inability to write, I decided to… lose 25 pounds? No. Volunteer at one of the charities I support? Nuh uh. Direct a movie?
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
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aah, the rarely talked about artist-ennui. if i didn't have FaN and tons of DIY projects, I think this would've driven me completely off the deep end a long time ago. i also find that the more other stuff i'm doing, the more i write. surprisingly, it's the only thing that keeps me organized.
i love the image of actually being inside a gap — that's exactly right. thanks for sharing your experiences with this.
aah, the rarely talked about artist-ennui. if i didn't have FaN and tons of DIY projects, I think this would've driven me completely off the deep end a long time ago. i also find that the more other stuff i'm doing, the more i write. surprisingly, it's the only thing that keeps me organized.
i love the image of actually being inside a gap — that's exactly right. thanks for sharing your experiences with this.
I know that the process of making art isn't quite the process of writing (maybe it is…who knows..) but I completely understand this feeling! But, one day I realized that if every time I went to create something, I put very specific boundaries in place, my mind could be free in those limits. Things like, "this is a painting of a person, expressionless, and only using four colors" or "today I will only make things for the home in this color palette". It really helps. I don't know if would work with writing, but maybe just deciding that a story is about "X" and keeping the boundaries simple and uncomplicated with meaning would help to find the message within it later. It sort of makes it a game.
Oh yes, delia! I agree that parameters are the key to success. Often for me with writing, it's starting broad and then narrowing them down into acts, then sequences, then scenes, then beats, them images… I KNOW that. I've been REWARDED by that in the past. And yet… :-)
I know that the process of making art isn't quite the process of writing (maybe it is…who knows..) but I completely understand this feeling! But, one day I realized that if every time I went to create something, I put very specific boundaries in place, my mind could be free in those limits. Things like, "this is a painting of a person, expressionless, and only using four colors" or "today I will only make things for the home in this color palette". It really helps. I don't know if would work with writing, but maybe just deciding that a story is about "X" and keeping the boundaries simple and uncomplicated with meaning would help to find the message within it later. It sort of makes it a game.
Oh yes, delia! I agree that parameters are the key to success. Often for me with writing, it's starting broad and then narrowing them down into acts, then sequences, then scenes, then beats, them images… I KNOW that. I've been REWARDED by that in the past. And yet… :-)
I feel you Rob – on so many levels. Can't wait to keep reading how it all continues to unfold for you. Very exciting stuff to come I'm sure!
I feel you Rob – on so many levels. Can't wait to keep reading how it all continues to unfold for you. Very exciting stuff to come I'm sure!
This is awesome. Please continue!
This is awesome. Please continue!
I hear ya! One of those eternal artistic struggles, no matter what the medium. Look forward to seeing the film progress!
I hear ya! One of those eternal artistic struggles, no matter what the medium. Look forward to seeing the film progress!