Moving On and Moving Up [Frankie Says…]

Frankie says…

Moving on is moving up.

I’ve recently gone through some career changes that will ultimately affect my life, and vice versa, of course.

When is one not intrinsically attached to the other?

For years now, I’ve been supporting myself as a nanny. I was able to begin my writing career because of the flexibility and pay of babysitting. I was able to then foray into producing, again because of the flexibility and pay of babysitting.

Now, in the last month, I’ve just quit my last babysitting gig. I have been making enough money as a writer and producer to cut the umbilical cord – pun noted. And just as leaving the comfort of a relationship, stagnant as it may be, can be disconcerting, so is leaving the comfort of a job, even when you don’t love it anymore.

I am happy to report that in the last four weeks, I have never been busier – averaging six assignments a week and signing on to another short film as producer. But, but… I seem to be waiting for that proverbial other shoe to drop. What happens when I don’t have six, or even one assignment per week? What do I do then? Call up the families and tell them they must desperately need a date night?

I hate that feeling, uncertainty. That’s why I’ve always kept babysitting in my back pocket, because I was never certain that I wouldn’t need it, at some point. But writing and producing just got to be too much (in a good way) and I knew I couldn’t commit to these kids when I was texting/calling/emailing directors, DPs, producers, etc., as their swings swung slower and slower, eventually stopping while my mouth was popping away to Mr. So-and-so.

So I wonder why moving on, which in my situation means moving up, feels so scary? Or is that just a totally naïve question? Sure it is. It’s naïve because obviously moving up always feels scary. If it were easy, or felt great all the time, it wouldn’t be moving up. I look forward to the continuance of moving up, because I was never any good at plateaus.

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featured image credit: anieto2k