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NewlyNested: The Gift of Compromise for Valentine’s Day


a blogumn by Debra Goykhman
Photo Credit: Lisa Yarost

Photo Credit: Lisa Yarost

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I’ve been spending my days thinking about a way to make the day less girly and more fun for my husband.  Valentine’s was never anything my husband and I really celebrated elaborately, not because I didn’t want to (even if it was cheesy, I did want all the bells and whistles), but because our schedules never matched up.

While we were dating, we were never in the same city and then during our first year of marriage we were in the middle of moving and had my brother in town during the holiday.  This is the first Valentine’s Day where we have no excuse to not celebrate.  Now that a Valentine’s together is a real possibility, it has occurred to me how much Alan (my husband) wouldn’t enjoy most of the things I would want to do that day.

Here is how my perfect holiday would look: breakfast in bed that I didn’t make, a stroll in the sand, a fancy and elaborate dinner.  Alan’s would look like this: a big breakfast in front of the TV, a swim in a warm ocean, and a casual dinner at home.  

The easiest part of figuring out Valentine’s Day was looking at our bank account.  As much as I’d love to spend hundreds of dollars right now on a pampering, we just bought a house and would really enjoy fixing it up even more.  So our compromise was to spend money on the gifts not on the dinner. Even though I love my fancy meals out, it’s way more fun to see what your significant other has picked out for you than feeling bloated during the most romantic holiday of the year.

However, since cooking for two on a daily basis feels a little like a chore, I decided to convince my husband to cook with me to make it more fun.  Being my chef companion is a great gift, because I know how much he hates cooking and cleaning up after.  I know he is really showing his love for me by helping me out and making it an activity.  As for the gift, that part is easy, but I can’t tell just yet…How are you planning to spend your Valentines Day?