![Wherein I Learn I Am Not A Person of Interest: Hyperbolic Tendencies [BEST OF FaN]](http://fierceandnerdy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/rbripley.jpg)
Wherein I Learn I Am Not A Person of Interest: Hyperbolic Tendencies [BEST OF FaN]
This article was meaningful to me because it reminded me of just how unpredictable life can be, that sometimes, we can all be a real asshole and that every once in a while, the bad girl/guy gets what s/he deseves!
Originally published 04/05/11
Several months ago, I decided to make a day job change, and began the usual process – talk to people I knew, investigate companies that interest me, begin sending in my resume. Interviews happened and several weeks ago I started the new job. Mission accomplished.
Then last Friday I received an email from a studio Vice President for a development job I’d sent my resume to seven weeks earlier, but had never heard back (not unheard of). The email had a trail of a half dozen responses between the VP Monica and her assistant Peter, all about potential candidates for the job. Attached to the email was my (and three other’s) resume.
Obviously, the email was supposed to go to Peter but Monica had sent it to me and the three other souls who thought we wanted to work for her:
Peter,
I googled and facebooked these. WTF?! None of them are people of interest. NONE.
Get it together and send me some resumes of people I might actually want to work with and look at every day.
Monica
Sadly, this is normal behind-closed-doors talk, not just in the entertainment industry, but a hefty majority of corporate America. And more and more people are using Facebook and Twitter when it comes to making decisions like these.
Let me first say that I love social media. Love. It. I adore sharing bits and pieces of my life with my family on Facebook, none of whom lives closer than 500 miles. I relish thoughts and ideas from people I admire like Sam Harris, Roseanne Cash, or Aaron Cohen via Twitter. That people are now connected by technology in ways that facilitates entire governments changing is nothing short of inspiring.
The downside of social media and technology is that our prejudices now have immediate and unlimited access to information that supports them. Paradoxically, it may be even easier to stay ignorant today than it was fifty years ago.
Monica made a decision based on what she “learned” from my public profiles. What was it that made her so confident I wouldn’t “fit” into her department. My brown hair? Unwieldy eyebrows? That I think god is a nice story, or don’t like asparagus? Or maybe it was because I’m from Pittsburgh or lived in Texas at some point?
Whatever it was, I can guarantee one thing – if she’d spoken with me, while perhaps not hiring me, at the very least her simple, surface perceptions would have had a vastly different context.
And context is the seed of change. How we shed ideas that are no longer useful. Whether it’s the idea that the world is flat, women have a lesser intellectual capacity, or that disease is caused by divine retribution. And that’s the definition of evolution – which is the point of it all.
As humans, we naturally gravitate towards those most like us. Ultimately, it’s why the civil rights movement was necessary to begin with. But what’s never going to change is that prejudices and preconceptions are abolished only through experience, which gives us a broader context. The trick is gaining that experience earlier in life.
In a world where technology ensures an unlimited supply of information, a snarky response too often passes for profundity, the challenge of taking the time to understand something beyond its appearance – whether it’s how larger pieces of something fit together or another person – is becoming more and more challenging.
And it’s a challenge that’s more important than just about anything else we face.
So after some deliberation, I hit ‘reply’ to Monica’s email, cc’d her assistant Peter, and sent my response:
Monica,
Great to finally hear back from you, though I’m disappointed we didn’t get the chance to actually speak about the job. I do hope that whomever you hired provides the requisite visual appeal and personality your department requires.
Peter, consider a new job. Life’s too fucking short.
Sincerely,
Robert Ripley
Obviously, my own evolution isn’t complete. But I’m aware of the flaws. Deeply aware. And I’m working to address them, confident I’ll one day overcome my own petty prejudices.
Because dammit, I am, indeed, a person of interest.
Tackling your prejudices seem too daunting a task? Instead, why not read a copy of Hell House: The Awakening. It’s guaranteed escapism as its finest! That’s not enough fodder for procrastination? Then follow me and my hyperbolic tendencies on Twitter.
featured image credit: scribbletaylor
Funny, while I was reading this post and feeling bad for you, because frankly that does suck, I was also thinking of Peter and thinking, “Why would he want to work for this woman? Life’s too short!” Glad to know we were on the same page on that one…and consider it dodging a bullet that you don’t have to work for her.
Thanks Jenny. Always good to learn someone else is thinking the same thing!
While I am glad I don’t work for her, I cannot wait until my agent sets up a meeting for me to pitch something to her. The sadist in me will definitely be out in full force.
“So, my story begins with this despicable executive who has no moral compass and the intellectual capacity of a mollusk. And her name… is MONICA.”
Oh. My. God. I must say, everyone has had their embarrassing moments of “oh shit why did I hit send?!” But usually that only entails not attaching a document or bad misspelling. What kind of horror must that woman be to not only think that crap but send it off in an email? I love your response by the way, classy and viciously evil all in one.
I have had my moment with social media and rude people: a coworker once publicly bitched about something we had worked together on, only to remember after the fact that I in fact was her facebook friend… I’ve never seen so much backpedalling.
Thanks for the note Zacki. Glad to hear that the response reads as somewhat reasonable. I had to sit on my hands to not include descriptors like “asshole” or “vacuous harpie.”
Thus far, there’s been no backpedaling or even acknowledgement from “Monica.” Though I suspect she’s too sociopathic to bother.
A perfect retribution.
Thanks Helene. I was, and continue to be, deeply conflicted about my reply. While it’s obvious “Monica” clearly has her own shortcomings, my need to point it out (and then share the experience with readers) indicates my own profound shortcomings. But damn, if the weasel doesn’t need a steamin’ bowl of comeuppance. Hence, my conflict.
Wow. Love this! Amazing.
Thanks Caden. As I am true admirer of your ability to cut to the chase, this is indeed HIGH praise!
I love this. I’ve shared this with a bunch of people who’ve all said, “I’m glad he replied. At least someone has balls.”
I appreciate your sharing the article, John.
I think what’s so powerful is the universal feeling of – powerlessness? humilation? – we all share at some point when we’re faced with the opinion that we’re not good enough. Whether its not getting a job, being dumped, or someone ditching us for a better plan that evening.
Sadly for “Monica” she shared her thoughts in a way that left her no room to explain, let alone justify the decision she’d made. There’s so much spin (bullshit) flying around today and a little voice inside me said, “Enough” when I read her email for the 1,000th time.
Looking back at my response, I do wish I’d actually phoned her or set a meeting at her office and and asked what she was basing her decision on rather than being snarky and clever in an email. Ultimately, I did the same thing she did with the same intent. That said, I still get a small sense of triumph when I think about it.
Thanks again for sharing!
I appreciate your sharing the article, John.
I think what’s so powerful is the universal feeling of – powerlessness? humilation? – we all share at some point when we’re faced with the opinion that we’re not good enough. Whether its not getting a job, being dumped, or someone ditching us for a better plan that evening.
Sadly for “Monica” she shared her thoughts in a way that left her no room to explain, let alone justify the decision she’d made. There’s so much spin (bullshit) flying around today and a little voice inside me said, “Enough” when I read her email for the 1,000th time.
Looking back at my response, I do wish I’d actually phoned her or set a meeting at her office and and asked what she was basing her decision on rather than being snarky and clever in an email. Ultimately, I did the same thing she did with the same intent. That said, I still get a small sense of triumph when I think about it.
Thanks again for sharing!
Let me first say that I find you interesting, but can’t elaborate as nothing to me indicates you are a gamer like me and we probably wouldn’t get along at all as a consequence ;) All jokes aside, you are my new personal hero for that response email and I agree completely that social media gives a good snapshot of a person, but without a little context I think it can paint an incorrect picture of a person as a whole.
For instance, a post I worked on recently had a line about a hobo punching me in the dick (don’t ask). In writing it I realized that when I curse in my writing or post something less than savory someone could get the wrong impression of me as a person but the truth is sometimes I just want to write something entertaining without worrying who I’m going to alienate.
Anyways, awesome post and my hat’s off to you, good sir.
First let me say that I am indescribably interesting. Gamer (I don’t even know what that means) or not, we would get along just fine.
Second, I am searching for your column that involves being punched in the dick (you scored points for not saying balls) as it makes you even more interesting than me! Where can we read about this incredible event?!
Finally, thank you for offering your own version of understanding the importance of context. Do me a favor and evangelize the shit out of that concept.
Thanks again, Josh!
You’re too kind, sir! And I agree that yes, we would er- ARE getting along just fine.
What I wrote wasn’t a column so much as a quick commentary on a ridiculous news story I read. You can read it here if you wish provided you don’t judge my style (or lack thereof) too harshly – http://geekspodcast.com/2011/04/07/apple-releases-iad-app-to-wait-for-it-show-you-ads/. Unfortunately I wasn’t ACTUALLY punched in the dick but that would have been far more entertaining! Well, for my readers- I’m sure I wouldn’t have enjoyed that initially.
Anyways, take care, keep being awesome, and I most certainly WILL advocate this concept!
I adore you.
And I, you. Thanks for the ego boost.
I echo the opinions here about social media and its great & ugly qualities, as well as your BRILLIANT response to Monica and Peter.
I had a similar experience awhile back with a client who called my business partner an “idiot web guy” in an email, and then was stupid enough to copy him on the email string to someone else. Nice. Needless to say, the business relationship with that client went way far south after that, even after she backpedaled all the way across Texas. The respect was gone, and we ended up eventually firing this client. No tears were shed – why? Because, in the words, of R.B., life’s too f-ing short.
Thanks, Shannon. As I mentioned to John earlier, I am deeply conflicted with my own response. I actually didn’t sleep last night.
While it’s clear Monica needs … something … what’s stuck in my craw is that I stooped to her level. Gah.
Your situation makes me even more disappointed in my own response since I essentially turned into her.
That said, I’m still getting a bit of a rush when I think about pushing ‘send.’ I love the human condition.
I just love that you did that. Love it. I once interviewed for a job that over 200 people applied for. I was one of the final four and given an assignment, which I worked very hard on and thought I did well. NEVER heard back. I even reached out. Not so much as a “thanks, but no thanks.” I really don’t know what is going on with corporate etiquette these days, but yay for you for shoving it back in their balls!!!
Thank you for your support. How on earth could they NOT contact you as one of four finalists who DID WORK FOR THEM?
Are they a BBB member? Can you write to the president of the company? Mention the press and your attorney. Your letter will be fastracked.
Thanks for the validation! It was working for one person who owns her own small business. That would really be sticking it to her!!! IN YO FACE!!!!!!
Bravo.
The highest of praise coming from you.
Everyone else, read this man’s books. They are a true delight and he imparts the quintessential experience of adolescence as good as any writer I’ve read.
So my Texas residence must be causing the problems with my job search…
Well, now that you mention it…
Well, now that you mention it…