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Oh, It’s Tuesday: I Believe That (IVF) Children Are the Future
“Well, the nice thing about IVF is that your eggs will always be 31,” my OB said at my 6 week post-natal check-up during our discussion about family planning.
The thing about our particular fertility problem is that, for whatever reason, there are many cases of it being reversed by the presence of children in the house. So though we hadn’t had to worry about birth control for quite awhile, it was now something that our doctor was telling us we should reconsider.
And I’ve decided to follow his advice on that.
Here’s the thing that happened to me on the IVF road to Betty. After our IVF retrieval turned out so well and produced several “good” fertilized eggs, I decided that it would unfair to have a child spontaneously when we had so many fertilized eggs waiting in the freezer. I’ve been told about couples that have decided to bring all of their embryos to term, b/c of religious or ethical reasons, and that’s not us. CH and I are definitely not looking to become a TLC show. But I do believe that I owe something to our remaining embryos. For me it’s either an IVF pregnancy our second and possibly third time around or it’s nothing at all. So birth control, until we’re ready to undergo the second embryo transfer, yes.
But the other strange thing that happened to me on the IVF road was that after all the tears and disappointments and frustration, IVF became rather convenient.
First of all, there’s that 31yo egg situation. Under the current plan, we would have child #2 when I am 33, and (still under financial consideration) child #3 when I’m 35 or 36 — m/b later or never if our money isn’t right. It’s nice to know that whenever our financial goals work out, that we have “good” fertilized eggs waiting in the wings.
Speaking of plans, IVF makes planning your next pregnancy a lot easier — I mean a lot easier. There’s a certain convenience factor to saying, “Oh hey, my novel comes out in summer 2010, so let’s put this next kid on the books for May 2011.”
Of course there’s always a chance that the next embryo won’t implant exactly when we want it to, so May 2011 might become July or September 2011 or even later until we run out of fertilized eggs. But I can already tell you that this is all a lot more convenient than when we were trying to plan our lives around a spontaneous pregnancy, that as it turned out, wasn’t going to happen.
And it occured to me the other day that even for busy couples without fertility issues, IVF might be attractive if and when it becomes less expensive.
It’s a very suspenseful time that we live in. Interest in all things natural when it comes to birth seems to be at an all time high, but IVF births also seem to be at an all-time high. It makes me wonder where this is all going. Are we headed for a Gattica-like future in which many parents plan out the births of their children, using IVF to decide on their birth dates, gender, and other important traits? Or will we continue on the mostly spontaneous birth path?
There’s a lot more money in it for drug companies and medial professonals in the IVF scenario, so I tend to think that’s where we’re headed, but one can never rule out the religious and anti-science fundalmentalists — especially in America.
Of course this is all one big ole case of “we’ll find out,” but I’m very interested to see what the birth process is like 30 or so years from now, when Betty (hopefully) starts her family.
Considering what a horrible experience IVF and other fertility treatments are for most of us, the idea of non-infertile people using it for convenience is mind-blowing. However, I know it does happen. Back when I saw my first Reproductive Endocrinologist, a very high-powered doctor in a high-powered city, they asked if my husband and I are usually in the same city. "Of course!" But they had to ask, because some of their patients' infertility stemmed from living in different cities. Sperm and egg aren't good at meeting when they're in different time zones. The couples couldn't get themselves together at the right time, so they ended up freezing what needed to be frozen and then the lab could do all the work without the partners ever having contact.
We also don't know the long-term side effects of fertility medications, which could ultimately be real and nasty. I was willing to take the risks because I had to, in order to have a child, but exposure to such risks out of convenience instead of necessity, if the risks are eventually established, seems ill-advised.
The medication factor alone would probably turn me off, but then it's a relatively new procedure. Much like the epidural, IVF could evolve over the years and become a lot less druggy and dangerous.You make a good point about the long term effects, but if someone early adopted silicone and lipo, I think there are people who would have a go at this.Also I'd point out that we don't know the long-term effects of too much cell phone use yet and I'm typing this on my iPhone while nursing. People will often choose convenient over completely safe.I'm fairly sure I read somewhere that in other countries, couples will get IVF to assure a boy or a girl. I think that's idiotic, but then I remember the ex-BF's mother that had given birth to 4 boys in an attempt to have a girl. Who knows what she might have done if she'd had the chance to assure that the 3rd or 4th kid was a girl?
Considering what a horrible experience IVF and other fertility treatments are for most of us, the idea of non-infertile people using it for convenience is mind-blowing. However, I know it does happen. Back when I saw my first Reproductive Endocrinologist, a very high-powered doctor in a high-powered city, they asked if my husband and I are usually in the same city. "Of course!" But they had to ask, because some of their patients' infertility stemmed from living in different cities. Sperm and egg aren't good at meeting when they're in different time zones. The couples couldn't get themselves together at the right time, so they ended up freezing what needed to be frozen and then the lab could do all the work without the partners ever having contact.
We also don't know the long-term side effects of fertility medications, which could ultimately be real and nasty. I was willing to take the risks because I had to, in order to have a child, but exposure to such risks out of convenience instead of necessity, if the risks are eventually established, seems ill-advised.
The medication factor alone would probably turn me off, but then it's a relatively new procedure. Much like the epidural, IVF could evolve over the years and become a lot less druggy and dangerous.
You make a good point about the long term effects, but if someone early adopted silicone and lipo, I think there are people who would have a go at this.
Also I'd point out that we don't know the long-term effects of too much cell phone use yet and I'm typing this on my iPhone while nursing. People will often choose convenient over completely safe.
I'm fairly sure I read somewhere that in other countries, couples will get IVF to assure a boy or a girl. I think that's idiotic, but then I remember the ex-BF's mother that had given birth to 4 boys in an attempt to have a girl. Who knows what she might have done if she'd had the chance to assure that the 3rd or 4th kid was a girl?