Gene-Cities: Communities Built One Gene at a Time [Single White Nerd]
We see the statistics every day: housing costs on the rise, foreclosure rates through the roof, unemployment at record highs. And that is just in the United States. The housing and jobs crisis is much more severe in other parts of the world. It’s dire. What if there were a way to live in a state of the art community custom designed just for you for free?
That’s right. For free.
Currently in development, Gene-Cities (Jen-Eh-Cities) represent a great leap forward in housing innovation and social engineering. Gene-Cities help you live the life you want, guaranteed. Because they are designed based on your design.
The Gene-City Difference
Early in the 21st Century, advances in genetic science and technology made tests that were previously either impossible or cost prohibitive available to a more general public. In 2012, the cost to test and fully sequence an individual’s DNA dropped below $1,000. The amount spent on DNA testing is projected to increase five fold by 2020 to over $25 billion.
Initially developed to screen pregnant women to see if their children would be likely to have down’s syndrome or predispositions to other diseases, as our knowledge of genetics increased at an exponential rate tests rapidly developed to determine behavioral predispositions as well. While we certainly have free will, our genes predispose us to want to live in certain environments, live among certain types of people, eat certain foods, and purchase certain products.
It can take a lifetime to find out who we are, what we like, and the type of people we want around us and our families. What if there were a way to short cut this laborious process and take the guess work out of life? A way to live in an environment engineered to our predispositions so we could get on with the business of living our lives, happily? That’s what Gene-Cities offers.
How it works
Gene-Cities builds on the work already done by companies like Google and Facebook. These companies have aggregated data about us–what we buy, what we listen to, where we go– packaged it, and sold it to companies. And what do we get in exchange? Nothing. At Gene-Cities, we believe that that simply isn’t right.
Through exclusive contracts with those companies and others, Gene-Cities accesses this data. But there’s more: Gene-Cities conducts a simple genomic test, sequences your DNA, and combines the findings with your behavioral profile. Based on the results, we recommend your placement in any one of over 50 Gene-Cities in and around metropolitan and rural areas throughout the world. No Gene-City is the same. Residents may cross socio-economic boundaries, after all genetics doesn’t care about skin color or economic status. But everyone in your Gene-City is, like you, genetically optimized for residence.
It’s paradise. For you. And it’s free.
Did you say free?
Residence in a Gene-City is fully subsidized by our corporate partners. Their participation in Gene-Cities is crucial, unobtrusive and fully integrated into your residential experience. Your Gene-City is devoid of billboards (unless, as happens, you are genetically predisposed to like billboards) or advertising. Our sponsors do not need to advertise–they know your needs before you move in and can meet them proactively allowing you more time to do what you are predisposed to find important.
Naturally, your privacy is of utmost concern to us. We are working with your genetic profile; nothing could be more sacred. Our partners do not know your identity, merely your profile. They, like us at Gene-Cities, just want you to be happy. And by opting into our program, you give us the opportunity to fulfill this desire. It is a privilege to serve you.
Ending the Housing Crisis, One Gene at a Time
Although Gene-Cities is currently at the beginning of a long journey, we hope that you will join us. Our goal is nothing less than the wholesale eradication of homelessness. Why should anyone be homeless when we can bring corporate dollars and bleeding edge science to bear on this pressing problem? Our tough economic times create new opportunities for innovation. The keys to a happy, healthy future are truly coded within us.
We hope to come to your community soon. Until then, stay true to yourself. We will.
Note: Gene-Cities aren’t real, blah blah. But given my track record with these things, they probably will be. Isn’t Siri kind of like a Virtual Girlfriend? And, as I type, Google is working on a heads up display in glasses. . .kind of like FacePlant. Be very afraid.